Page 53 of Stay with Me

The people here had become family to him in a way that his own kin had never been. They’d already suffered enough as outcasts, and he didn’t want to bring them more harm andhardship. But the truth was, his presence amongst them posed a threat to their quiet and simple existence.

“I understand what you’re saying.” Ralph seemed to measure each word carefully before responding. “But all of us here are dodging the law in one way or another. It could come creeping up on us at any time.”

“None are a menace like Simon.” Even if most outsiders were frightened of the deep Weald, his brother’s men had no choice but to pursue him if Simon threatened them badly enough. “I shall leave on the morrow and attempt to divert their attention elsewhere.”

“No. If they come, we’ll stick together and fight.”

Nicholas shook his head. “This place is a refuge to those who need it. Where would everyone go if the village was discovered?”

Ralph turned quiet.

Nicholas’s gaze strayed to the cottage. The shutters were closed, and there was no sign of light within. Sybil was likely already slumbering. Nevertheless, his pulse quickened as it did every time he thought about her being inside and in bed.

“Will you take her with you?” Ralph asked.

Had his friend caught him peeking at the cottage and sensed his desire for Sybil? She would be safer here, away from his lusts.

“I shall return for her once Simon has given up the chase.”

“I suppose you’ll be heading down to Dover as soon as you’re able?”

“Yes, but tell no one of my destination.”

Nicholas rolled the set of strange numbers through his head again as he did several times a day in order to keep from forgetting them. Other than Sybil, Ralph had been the only one he’d told about the numbers from the missive he’d discovered on Simon’s writing table.

Ralph had agreed it was a message from the French. But Nicholas wasn’t skilled in ciphering and needed to visit hisfriend Walter in Dover, who was an expert at uncovering secret codes. If it was a treasonous message, Nicholas would take it directly to the king and prove his loyalty and therewith absolve himself of all charges of espionage—or at least he hoped he could absolve himself.

“I gave Beatrice a week after our wedding before I left. You can spend a few days with your wife. She deserves that.”

Nicholas shook his head and started to speak, but Ralph cut him off. “Simon won’t regroup immediately anyway.”

Nicholas pushed away from the tree and straightened. He wasn’t sure what Simon intended to do next. But Ralph was right. Sybil deserved more from him so soon after their wedding. And truthfully, he wanted more too. He wanted a few days to be with her at the least.

Ralph spat into the grass again. “We’ll take care of her until you come back.”

Nicholas knew Ralph meant the words to reassure him, but they stirred unease within him. He’d already left one woman behind, and the results had been devastating.

“You’ll have nothing to fear,” Ralph said, clearly sensing the direction of Nicholas’s thoughts. “I’ll protect her with my life.”

Nicholas felt his throat closing up not only with gratefulness to his friend but also with a whole host of emotion for Sybil. Why had he allowed himself to care about her so deeply already? Hadn’t he learned his lesson with Jane? The heartache of losing her had nearly killed him. How could he survive losing another woman?

Maybe Eric had been right, that they hadn’t atoned for their mistakes and never would. The ache in Nicholas’s chest pulsed at the picture of the agony in Eric’s eyes when he’d held his mother in his arms, when they’d both realized they’d been too late. After that day, they’d only had each other.

Whatever the case, he was married now. And he’d meant what he’d told Eric—that he was no longer dead inside and couldn’t deny the need flowing through him.

“Go on now with you.” Ralph straightened. “I’m taking your watch.”

Nicholas’s muscles tensed with the desire to make the most of the little time he had left with Sybil. He let his attention drift to the cottage again, and his heart reared like a war horse, kicking its legs, eager for the charge. He’d promised her he wouldn’t pressure her to consummate their marriage. And he’d promised himself he would wait until they had more substance to their relationship before giving in to his physical desires.

Could he go in and remain chaste while still spending a night with her?

“God’s bones, man.” Ralph shoved him. “You’ll regret it if you don’t go to her.”

Nicholas stumbled forward. Once his feet were moving, he couldn’t stop. He strode directly to the cottage, his heart picking up pace with the need to spend every minute with her that he could.

As he took in the position of the moon, he silently cursed himself for wasting so much of the night already. If he was honest with himself, he’d also been holding himself back from returning to the cottage because every time he’d looked at her throughout the feasting, he’d thought about kissing her again the same way he had at their wedding. And he couldn’t kiss her again, could he?

He hesitated at the door. Could he remain strong enough?

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