Page 70 of With All My Heart, Joy

“I don’t know.”

His eyes shuttered, the pain spreading across his face palpable. “Joy—”

“Please, Isaac.” Her voice broke, and she opened her front door wide. “I’m asking you to leave.”

He put his head down and walked out the door without another word. Joy closed the door quietly behind him, then leaned her back against the door, her breaths jerking her body back and forth and yet not filling her lungs with air.

She’d deal with this mess alone. This mess online. And this mess called her life.

How could she drag anyone else into her depression? No one could deal with her drama for long. Isaac might think he could. But he’d get tired of trying over and over to fix her, only to find that he’d failed.

If even God above couldn’t fix Joy’s broken spirit, who could? Maybe she was meant to be alone, just like she was never meant to be born.

She returned to her desk and let out a yowling groan at the sight. Shestillhadn’t stopped the live recording. Her breakup had been captured in real-time. Just when she hadn’t thought her life could possibly get worse.

Chapter Eighteen

“When we see Joy, Dad? When?”

Isaac grimly ignored his daughter as he tucked the blankets around her. The ache in his chest was so sharp he half expected to see blood seeping through his shirt when he looked down.

How could Joy go from telling him she loved him to breaking up with him? Clearly, she didn’t love him more than she loved her online followers.

He swallowed a ball of fire, and it burned the whole way down his esophagus. The pain of rejection and betrayal was coming back to him in a flash. It may have been more than ten years ago the first time, but he was reliving it now and remembering all the reasons he’d stayed safely away from women ever since. Until Joy.

Why, oh why, had he broken his rule this one time and let her into his office? He’d known better. And now he was paying for it.

Just like last time.

“Why don’t I ever learn, God?” he asked, staring at the ceiling while sleep evaded him. “How many times have you tried to warn me, and I keep insisting on my way? Then I get what I deserve.” He rolled over, but every time he drifted off, Joy filled his dreams, and he awoke with fresh despair. At some point in the night, he fell into a deeper sleep. The smell of coffee filling the house was the next thing that woke him. The clock said seven in the morning.

“Mom?” he asked with disbelief when he stumbled into the kitchen and found his mom standing in front of the stove. He’d been so wrapped up with Joy, he’d forgotten she was coming today. “You must have left your house early. I forgot you had a key.”

Her smile was indulgent as she patted his cheek. “You’ve been preoccupied.” The way her eyes sparkled, he couldn’t crush her just yet.

“Can I get some coffee? Paisley will be over the moon when she wakes up. Is Trevor with you?”

She reached for a mug from his cabinets. “He’s coming tomorrow afternoon with Rose.”

Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve without Joy.

On his way to work, his phone rang. If it were anyone other than Silas, he wouldn’t answer.

“Hey,” he grunted, already exhausted from trying to act normal during the brief exchange with his mother.

“I saw the whole thing on video. Including the end where she pushed you out the door.”

Fantastic. The whole world knew how unlovable Isaac Miller was. “And you’re telling me to cheer me up?”

“No. Just…a warning. Joy has a huge following, and enough of your conversation was caught that people realized your counselor-client relationship—without realizing where things stand now. The comments section is a swamp. Be advised…”

Isaac parked outside Living Hope Counseling and slammed his head against the headrest. He’d been an idiot to think he could get involved with a client a second time without serious consequences.

“Thanks for telling me.” He swallowed his pride. “If you don’t mind…can you pray for me today? I think I’m going to need it.”

“Already on it, man. Lucy tried to reach Joy, but she wouldn’t pick up. She’s on her way over there now. Hopefully Joy will let her in.”

“Don’t count on it,” Isaac said, bitterness tainting his words. “I gotta go.” He headed straight to Marie’s office. “I need to talk with you.”

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