Page 109 of A Crown of Lies

She’d finally reached him, and he seemed to sense that something was different, holding his breath. Rixxis wondered if Rowan had the ability to read her mind. He always seemed to know what she was thinking, sometimes even before she did.

She was only a few inches taller than Rowan, but she was taller than almost everybody. With other men, that might as well have been miles. They were intimidated by her height, by her build, by her body, by her presence. But not Rowan. He looked up at her, the familiar and ever-present spark of desire there, even if his concern dimed it more than usual.

He was always the one in charge. Always so in control of himself. The stark opposite of Ieduin, who sometimes couldn’t even stop himself from saying the first thing that came to mind. Rowanwascontrol in the flesh.

Except when he wasn’t. She’d seen flashes of that the night he and Ieduin had their session, moments where he let the control slip and he almost seemed like a wild beast. Ieduin hadn’t been strong enough to break him completely, but maybe she was.

She closed a big hand around the back of his head and leaned down to kiss him. Rowan’s sharp intake of breath through his nose made her heart pound even harder. He seemed surprised by the kiss, but quickly leaned in, wanting more.

As soon as he did, she broke away, leaving him breathing hard.

“I didn’t come here to talk,” she said and put a hand on his chest, giving him a shove toward the bed.

His eyes widened as he stumbled back a half step, lips curling into a wicked smirk that faded a moment later. He opened his mouth, but she didn’t care what he had to say.

“Don’t ask me if I’m sure.” Rixxis pulled on the clasps that held her black leather armor in place and cast it aside, taking another step forward. “I’ve never been more sure of what I’ve wanted than I am today. Don’t ask me to wait, because I’ve wasted too much of my life waiting.” She yanked her tunic over her head and tossed it off into the mess of other clothes scattered around the room. She closed on Rowan, running a thumb over his lips. “And don’t ask me to submit today, because I have spent my whole life doing that for men and I am tired of it, Rowan. That isn’t what I need. That isn’t what you promised.”

“No,” he said, nipping at her thumb. “I promised you’d be my equal. My queen.”

She moved her hands, gripping his head with both of them and resting her forehead against his. “So prove it. Love me like your equal tonight, and then I will be your queen, now and forever.”

He closed his eyes, and, for a moment, it almost looked like he wanted to cry. “You have no idea how long I have waited to hear you say that.”

Rowan kissed her, and it was unlike any kiss they had ever shared before. All the kisses before had filled her with fire and need, promises of what he could do, would do for her. They burned through her veins and left her feeling hot and empty in a strange way that nothing could fill. But this kiss, it was a language all its own. It was the promise of what they could be together, the hope of life that she so desperately needed. It didn’t take or demand anything, but filled her with a fluttering warmth that felt like everything she’d ever wanted all at once.

His lips didn’t feel like the all-consuming fire of desire and destruction, but the fire of warmth on a chilly night. They felt likelife. Likehope.

They backed toward the bed together, shedding clothes as quickly as they could. She waited for the familiar flicker of uncertainty to flash through her, the nerves and fear that he might not want her when he saw how she really was beneath her armor and clothes, but that never came. He’d already shown her how much he wanted her, proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that this wasn’t some cruel game. He wanted her.Her! The way she was, without qualifications or modifications… And even with the bedchamber blazing with light. She didn’t have to hideanythingfrom him.

Rowan guided her closer to the bed. She expected him to pull her down with him, but he left her standing and sat, naked and hard and perfect, on the edge of the bed, pulling her body closer. He kissed an old battle scar on her stomach, the injury a glancing blow from a sword, and lifted his gaze to her face. The needy, hungry look in his eyes sent a shiver of pleasure through her. She touched his cheek, and he closed his eyes, showering her ribs and stomach with slow kisses while his hands roamed over her back, the curve of her ass.

It was almost difficult to believe this was the same man who’d tortured Ieduin so savagely, even if Ieduin had liked it. This Rowan was all gentle grace and tender caresses, almost as if he were afraid to hurt her.

No, it wasn’t that. There was reverence in his touch, in the occasional upward glance, in the way his fingers trailed so gently over the small swell of her breasts. Every kiss was a veneration, every touch a promise of devotion. Ieduin had called her a goddess, but Rowan’s slow worship made herfeellike one.

Her skin prickled as he traced his fingertips over her nipples and she shuddered, thinking of the pretty gold clamps he had in the dungeon. He’d said he wanted to see her in them, and the idea wasn’t entirely unappealing. There was a part of her that wanted to put on the elaborate jewelry for him, to let him decorate her so that gold, diamonds, and pearls dripped from her body while he worshipped her. For the first time, she thought about wearing a crown. She’d do it for him. Not because she wanted power, or because she wanted to rule, but because he made her feel worthy of it.

“I want to taste you.” Rowan’s words came out more a strained growl than words.

Before she could formulate a response, he gripped the mounds of her ass firmly and yanked her forward. She let out a surprised squeak that ended in a moan as he pushed his face between her legs. He let out another growl of approval that sent shockwaves up through her body. A loud, needy whine escaped her lips. She didn’t even try to quiet herself, as every sound she made had him delving deeper into her folds, tasting more of her. He didn’t just use his tongue, either. He was doing something with his lips, nipping at the most sensitive part of her lightly with his teeth, and every touch was like a tiny lightning bolt of pleasure straight through her.

Even though he was doing the same thing Ieduin had done—pleasuring her with his mouth—it couldn’t feel more different. Maybe it was because she was standing. Maybe it was because he’d taken her hands and placed them on the back of his head, effectively giving her control. Divine, that gesture alone from Rowan, was intoxicating. Her knees quickly began to quake, threatening to give out. To keep them from buckling, she pressed his head firmer against her, but that just made her feel weaker. Her own wetness began to drip down the insides of her thighs. It was both a disappointment and a relief when he pulled away to lick it up.

He moved to go back between her legs, but she gripped a handful of his hair and pulled his head back. A flash of something dark went through his eyes when she yanked tight, keeping him from what he wanted.

“I want you inside of me,” she panted, barely recognizing the demand in her own voice.

He scooted back on the bed, making room for her. She climbed on with her hands and knees, intending to take the top position as she had with Ieduin. She’d liked having him look up at her while he was inside of her, and the idea of Rowan submitting to her instead of the other way around…

But when she kissed him, tasting herself on his lips, all it took for her to change her mind was a light push on her shoulder. Her shoulders fell against the plush pillows, and his hands came down, powerful arms framing her face. Rixxis’s heart knocked loudly against her ribcage as he looked down at her, that same dark, feral hunger from before all over his face. The weight of him settled overtop her and it was strangely comfortable to have him there, as if he belonged in that position over her. Though she knew she was bigger than him, and stronger, he had a way of making her feel smaller when he looked at her, but never lesser.

“I loved you first, you know,” he whispered, brushing his knuckles over her burning cheeks. “With him, it was desire first that deepened into something more, but you… I would’ve waited a thousand years to have you. I’ve loved you since I first saw your smile. Loved you so much that I feel it ache in my bones, Rixxis.”

She swallowed, lips parting. “What am I supposed to say to that?”

“Nothing. You don’t have to say anything at all. Just let me keep loving you.”

Her eyes widened and her breath caught as she felt the wide head of his cock pressing in against her. Gods, she’d forgotten how big he was. Bigger than Ieduin, bigger than Lewis. Was it going to hurt? What if it didn’t fit? What if—

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