Page 94 of If Not for the Duke

“Then he is a fool. He should know in his heart that you would never deceive him.”

Lena’s breath caught. “But didn’t I? I didn’t trust him enough to tell him about my gift. I am as much to blame as he is.”

Norah sank against the cushions as the truth of what Lena had said sank in. “You’re right. You should have. But there are reasons you didn’t. Strong, valid reasons. If you explain, he might understand.”

Lena pressed a hand against her mouth as she considered the suggestion. “I don’t know if I have the courage. What if he thinks even more poorly of me than I fear?”

“Then he is not the right man for you. That much I know.” Norah held her gaze. “Please tell me you will consider it. Love is worth fighting for.”

While Lena knew that to be true, she didn’t know if she dared to tell Sterling what was in her heart.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Lena donned herfavorite ball gown—an emerald green that gave her much-needed confidence. The gown was in the princess style with no bustle and a slim silhouette. The bodice had gold and green stripes and was trimmed in lace.

She put on her grandmother’s locket, rubbing the smooth metal for luck. Nancy rolled her hair into a loose chignon at the back of her neck, leaving several wispy strands to curl around her face.

“You look lovely, miss,” the maid said with a smile as she stepped back to admire Lena’s appearance in the mirror.

“Thank you, Nancy.”

The Willingham ball was this evening. Another message to Bernie had confirmed that she and Sterling planned to attend, though Bernie said she wouldn’t truly enjoy any functions until Winslow had been caught. Marbury had told Lena that rumors suggested the man had fled to the Continent. He hadn’t returned home, and his few remaining servants had left. The police continued to search for him to no avail.

Lena didn’t blame Bernie for still being worried but hoped the ball would provide an opportunity to speak with Sterling. To apologize for not trusting him with her ability sooner. If that went well, she intended to share what was in her heart with the hope he might feel the same.

Butterflies danced in her middle at the thought. She hoped nerves didn’t get the best of her. But she’d had plenty of time to think during the past two days. Norah was right. Lovewasworth fighting for. She need only look at her sisters to see just how true that was.

At this moment, the chance for a future with Sterling felt as far out of reach as a star in the night sky—bright, full of promise, but untouchable.

She shook aside the dismal thought and focused on her plan. If she didn’t try, she would forever regret this chance. That much she knew for certain. But regardless of how Sterling reacted, she realized how much she’d changed in the past few weeks.

While her gift of premonition would always set her apart, she now felt at peace with it. Especially when she reflected on how helpful it had been of late. Gifts should be welcomed and acknowledged just as her grandmother had done. Not demanded nor rejected. The timing of her intuition was rarely ideal, but she hoped she now had the peace of mind to allow her ability to grace her and those she cared for whenever possible.

Whether Sterling would understand remained to be seen. If they were to have the chance for a future together, he would have to accept herandher gift.

She took comfort in knowing Norah and Vanbridge would be at the ball as well. Norah would be pleased if she learned of Lena’s plan, but Lena wasn’t certain if she’d tell her. Her questioning looks would make Lena even more nervous.

Within the hour, Lady Havenby came for Lena and they arrived at Willingham House. Nerves continued to plague Lena, making her doubt her plan and sending chills along her body.

“What is it?” Lady Havenby asked, her voice sounding as if she were speaking to Lena from another room as they alighted from the carriage.

“Nothing.” Lena frowned, trying to determine what was happening. The feeling dropped away before she could take a firm hold of it. She cleared her thoughts, but it remained elusive. Was she merely nervous or was her intuition trying to tell her something? Wishing wouldn’t make the feeling come. All she could do was open herself to the gift.

As they climbed the stairs lit by torches and entered the open doors of the townhouse, a light-headed sensation had her blinking to clear her dizziness. She drew a deep breath to regain her balance, relieved when it worked.

“Are you certain?” Lady Havenby asked, clearly worried. “You’ve gone pale.”

“I’m fine.” Lena forced a smile and looped her arm through the older woman’s. She intended to embrace her gift but also wanted to keep it hidden. The balance was a difficult one. “Excited for the evening is all.”

“If you’re sure…” At Lena’s nod, the older woman smiled. “I have no doubt it will be a delightful ball.” She leaned close. “Tell me, do you hope to dance with the Duke of Renwick again?”

“I do.” The thought of it had her stomach dipping as if she’d taken a misstep. She hoped for not just a dance but a few minutes to speak with him more than she could say.

After greeting their hosts then continuing into the ballroom, Lena reminded herself it was unlikely that he was already there as the hour was still relatively early. That didn’t keep her from looking over the crowd for his tall, commanding form.

To her delight, he stood across the room near Bernie and Mrs. Easton, listening to his sister, his expression somber as usual. His elegant evening clothes and aristocratic features caused another dip in her middle.

Bernie looked wonderful, much to Lena’s relief. Her animated face showed no hint of distress as she gestured with her hands.

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