Page 83 of Total Ship Show

The next few days are a blur of going through the motions of keeping myself alive and pretending I’m not missing Aris. I’m still receiving texts from him, a few every day and though I’m not responding to them, inside I’m grateful they keep coming. The hopeless romantic in me hopes this means he’s seriously missing me and maybe his feelings really are genuine. Otherwise, why would he keep trying so hard?

But I also know if I don’t respond at some point, his texts will stop, and I’ll lose him forever.

I gaze at our picture for many long minutes every night before falling asleep, studying everything about Aris’s face, his body posture, the way he holds me against him. How protected and loved I felt even though we never said it in words.

He was mine and I was his. Real or not real, it felt right.

For one beautiful week.

I scroll through a few other pictures I took on the trip, recalling each memory as they went by.

Our late-night talks on the top deck.

Dancing together.

Watching the sunsets from his balcony.

Our first night together…and our first morning.

Our first kiss when I asked him to help me.

The scavenger hunt.

His excitement meeting those hockey players.

The heat in his eyes at the art gallery.

And with me on that swing.

Turtle Tit Tayla.

“I have feelings for you, Adrienne.”

I let my arm fall to the mattress, my phone in hand, and squeeze my eyes closed.

“Fuck. What am I doing?” I mumble to myself. “I’m blowing this.”

I toss and turn over the next two hours late into the night not knowing what I should do. My heart says go for it and my brain says why on earth would you consider traveling eighteen hours away for a man you’ve only known for a week?

Playing devil’s advocate with my mind and heart, I ask myself what I would do if I found out I was wrong to judge Aris and he sincerely has feelings for me.

“I would want him. I would want to see what happens. I would want the chance.”

Bolting upright in bed, I grab my phone and type as fast as I can until I find what I’m looking for.

The earliest possible flight to Seattle tomorrow.

“Six A.M. I’ll take it.” I submit my payment, grin at myself and my ridiculously impulsive behavior, and excitedly curl up under my covers. “I’ll find you tomorrow, Aris. Tomorrow.”

* * *

Dove: WTF girl? Did you seriously hop a plane this morning?

Me: Ummmm….guilty. *cringe emoji* Sorry. I didn’t want to wake you.

Dove: *Surprise emoji* Holy shit! You’re going to get your man!! AHHHHH I’m so happy for you!

Dove: *GIF of Phoebe and Rachel jumping and clapping*

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