Page 82 of Total Ship Show

“Okay, next question,” Joaquin says. I turn to look at him. “Do you miss him? Right now, in this moment. Do you miss him?”

“Of course, I do. I miss the feeling of being in his arms. I miss his smile. I miss his voice. I miss laughing with him.”

Memories of Aris in a speedo with Gertrude, and his story to my friends on how we met have me smiling hard.

“You more than miss him, Ade,” Dove says, her eyes wide. Her smile matching mine. “You love him.”

My smile falters. “I don’t know.”

“Stop it.”

My head snaps to Dove. “What?”

“You always do that.”

“Do what?”

“Run from your feelings.” She rubs my knee.

“I don’t do that.”

Joaquin and Dove tilt their heads at the same time. “Uh, did you or did you not run from the ship as fast as you could and then hide out in an airport so you wouldn’t run into the one man who seems to have made you happier than you’ve been in a very long time?”

Fuck.

Okay. She might be right.

“But what if it’s all a figment of my imagination? What if none of this was real?”

The corner of Dove’s mouth lifts. “But what if it is? Why are you focusing on the negative? That’s not like you.”

I lay my head back against the couch again. “I don’t know what to do, guys. What do I do? What would you do?”

“I would sleep on it,” Joaquin tells me. “You’re exhausted. Get some sleep. If you still feel all the feelings tomorrow and the next day and the day after that, then we find him. You call him. You make a plan, and you run like the wind to your knight in shining armor so you can live out your happily ever after.”

“I think that’s good advice,” Dove nods. “Sleep will do you some good. See how you feel in the next few days.”

I nod, squeezing my hands into fists and stretching. “I could definitely sleep. Or at least my body can. My mind on the other hand feels like it might never calm down. Thanks for listening guys. And for what it’s worth, I really appreciate you not sitting here with a case of the I-told-you-sos.”

“We would never.” Dove winks.

“I love you guys.” I stand from the couch and give my friends a huge hug. “Hey, Joaquin, how did things go with Camila?”

He beams. “So far so good. She thinks I’m the best boyfriend she’s ever had.”

I slap him high five. “Proud of you, friend. You deserve to be happy.”

“As do you, Amiga,” he says with a grin.

“Good night, guys.”

I hop in the shower quickly to wash the day of travel off me and allow the warm water to calm my thoughts, though it’s not working as well as I had hoped. I lie in bed for hours afterwards, staring up at my ceiling, wondering what Aris is doing in this very moment. Is he the least bit upset? Or has he moved on already and found someone else?

Just then my phone lights up and an image appears. A selfie Aris and I took on the beach with the baby turtles, two babies in my hand, as I beam at the camera, and he kisses the side of my head.

Aris: Good night, Adrienne. I miss you.

Ugh! This is killing me.

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