Page 91 of Beautiful Crazy

“Emily, what’s wrong.” Emmett takes a step toward me, but I take a step back. The woman next to him tilts her head watching us.

“I’m sorry, Emmett. I just, umm…I came to surprise you for lunch but…”

“Oh…” His voice trails off and his face falls. Then he shakes his head. “Shit, where are my manners? Emily, this is Cheyenne. I kind of call her my work wife since we share an office. Cheyenne, this is uh…this is Emily.” He’s still watching me, trying to figure me out.

Figure out why I’m here.

Why I look like I can’t breathe.

Why I have two hands on my head.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Cheyenne says with a warm smile. “Emmett never shuts up about you, you know. I probably know more about you than I do my own wife.”

I breathe in a shaky breath and laugh nervously. “Yes. Right. Your wife. Uh, it’s very nice to meet you as well, Cheyenne.” Embarrassed, I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants before reaching out to shake Cheyenne’s hand.

“Em, I’m really sorry,” Emmett starts. “I can’t…uh…” His shoulders drop. “Yesterday wasn’t a great day for me either and I have to work through lunch…uh…I have a conference call.”

“Yeah, he said it was nothing, but it doesn’t look like nothing, right?”

“Emmett probably makes her call him daddy when she’s in those panda pants.”

The words I heard earlier play on repeat through my mind like the most annoying earworm and I can’t unhear them.

“Yeah, no, that’s okay, Emmett.” I hitch my thumb back behind me down the hall toward Mrs. McMurray’s desk. “You know, I got here and then suddenly started not feeling very well so umm…”

“Emily, what’s wrong, Babe?” Emmett reaches me and grabs for my hand, but my eye catches a couple ladies toward the end of the hall who stop to see what’s happening and one of them must recognize me because she gasps and awkwardly smiles at the woman next to her. Uncomfortable with the whole situation, I twist myself out of Emmett’s grasp much to his befuddlement.

“Nothing. I’m fine. I promise. I just umm…” I look around for some sort of an escape, a way out that would make this whole nightmare feel less awkward. “I think I just need a break. You know? The walk home will be good.” I wrap my arms around myself protectively.

Protecting my heart?

Protecting my dignity?

Protecting myself from Emmett?

The mere thought of that rips my soul apart.

“Okay. I’m really sorry, Em. Did you walk here? Do you want me to drive you home?”

“Yeah, no, no. It’s totally fine. It’s nice out so…” I shake my head adamantly, leaving me with a slight dizzy feeling.

God, I need this to stop.

I need out of here before I go crazy.

“I’m sorry. I’ll just…go and I’ll umm, I guess I’ll just, you know, I’ll see you later.”

Emmett’s forehead creases as he nods. I know he wants to know what I’m not saying, but his workplace is not the right place to have any kind of relationship conversation.

I turn away and start walking toward the door blocking out anything else I might hear along the way. My heart thumps against my chest as I walk. Once I see the door in sight, I make a break for it and don’t stop until I’m in the stairwell walking down to at least the eighth floor before stopping to take a breath and shake off tears before hopping an elevator the rest of the way down.

On the walk home, I play through the last several months of living with Emmett and even think back to that day well over a year ago when he kissed me. We’ve been through so much together in the years we’ve been roommates. He’s my best friend and I can’t imagine my life without Emmett Fox, but something about this doesn’t feel right in my gut.

Am I overreacting?

Is he really playing me or am I just scared he will one day?

Is it me he really wants?

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