Page 43 of Beautiful Crazy

Break rule number five?

“You want a relationship. Like, the real deal?”

He steps back, his brow furrowed. “Of course, I do. You don’t?”

“No, it’s not that. I—”

“Then what is it?”

“I…” How do I say this? “I guess I assumed you were looking for more of a friends-with-benefits kind of situation.”

Clearly a bit taken aback, Emmett closes his eyes for a second, inhaling a full breath. “So, you think I would be okay fucking you and then just watching you date other people? Is that the kind of man you think I am?”

My chest tightens and my stomach knots. “What? No, of course not Emmett. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just don’t see how…well, look at you…and then look at me.”

He steps back again and eyes me from head to toe and back again before crossing his arms in front of him. “I am looking at you, Emily. What do you think I see?”

My mouth falls open and I’m at a loss for words. “I…Emmett, I’m just plain me. I’m a hot mess most of the time. I rarely even try to match my clothes, certainly never my socks, I work in my fucking pjs that you said yourself wasn’t adult enough for you.”

“I never said—”

“My sexual experiences only go so far. I don’t have nearly the experience you have. You slept your way through a lot of your senior year of college. I know because Wes told me. I know because I was that girl who wished you would notice me even though you were a year ahead of me, and when you never did, I gave up on the notion. I resigned myself to be just Emily. Crazy nerdy, good at a lot of things but great at nothing, Emily. That’s who you see, Emmett.”

He shakes his head confounded by my perception. “You couldn’t be more wrong, Em.”

“Emmett, you’re my best friend and I love you, but you’ve also been kind of a player with your past, I don’t know, do you even call them girlfriends if they don’t last long? I don’t want my best friend to be the one who rips my heart to shreds one day. I’m not sure I’ll be able to come back from that.”

“Fucking hell, Emily.” He takes another step away from me, sliding his hand through his hair, irritation evident on his face. “What have I ever done to make you think I would hurt you like that?”

“Emmett, come on.” I tilt my head. “I’m just trying to be reasonable. In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never had a long-term relationship. You sleep with someone a few times, get bored, and move on. I don’t want to be the one who bores you.” I nearly choke on those last few words when they grab at my heartstrings. All I want to do is please him.

“You know what? Maybe you’re right,” he declares, backing out of the kitchen space altogether.

“Emmett…”

He shakes his head. “Maybe the woman who is right for meisn’tthe one who knows me the most, or the one who has been at my side for more years than anyone, or the one who held my hand through the most vulnerable time of my life, or the one who hasneverjudged me for being me...well, until now anyway. So, I guessthanks for being the ultimate friend Em. Thanks for saving me fromyou.”

Ouch!

He turns and heads to the door, grabbing his coat and slipping into a pair of shoes.

“Emmett, where are you going?”

“I need some air.”

“But…” I watch in apprehension as he walks out and slams the door behind him. “Dinner…”

Sagging to the floor, I lay my head on my arm between my knees and sob for the first time in a very long time.

Five minutes ago, I was experiencing the kiss of my dreams.

But maybe that’s all it was or ever will be.

A dream.

Chapter 10

Emmett

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