Page 98 of Beautiful Crazy

“What? Why? Did he achieve that goal? Oh, God, do I even want to know?”

“That’s the question, Em. Why do you want to know? Has he cheated on you? Is he still sleeping around?”

I shake my head. “No. He told me he hasn’t slept with anyone since I moved in.”

“And do you believe him?”

“Yeah.” I nod. “Yeah, I do.”

“So why are you worried about how many people Emmett has slept with when he only seems to have eyes for you now?”

“Because what if I’m not good enough for him?”

Wes’s brows narrow. “Why the fuck would you think that? You’re amazing, Emily. Any guy would be goddamn lucky to have you.”

“Wes, I can probably count on one hand the number of men I’ve slept with. None of them were…” My voice trails off and I take a deep breath.

“Were what?”

“None of them were as good Emmett.”

Wes stares at me, a look of amusement on his face. “And that’s a problem because…”

I bite the bottom corner of my lip. “I just feel sometimes like he’s too good to be true so when I hear things about his past, I automatically clam up and get scared. Emmett and I have always had this strong bond. He’s my best friend, Wes, and I’m scared to death that I’m not going to be enough for him and one day he’ll see that he’s been dating boring old Emily, or worse. What if he does see all my crazy for what it is…crazy? It’s what has happened with any other guy I’ve met. At some point my crazy is too much for them. Eventually Emmett will start looking somewhere else for what he really wants and that will crush me.”

There it is. I said all the words. I spilled my guts to my brother.

I only feel mildly lighter.

Wes leans forward and takes my hand in his. The two of us have never been super-duper close but when he knows I need my big brother, he always comes through for me.

“Em, do you love him?”

“I’ve never truly loved anyone else, Wes. It’s always been him. I had a crush on him in college, but he never noticed me.”

“Oh, he noticed you, alright. Trust me. I guess this is where I owe you an apology because I threatened his life if he ever went near you.”

“Yeah.” I pick at the frayed denim on the hem of my shorts. “He told me.”

“Look, if you love him, and he’s given you no reason to doubt his feelings for you, then this is just a matter of confidence. Maybe you should just tell Emmett your fears. Let him put them to rest for you."

I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs. "I want to marry him, Wes.”

His eyebrows shoot up and he gives me a goofy grin. “Has he asked you to marry him?”

Shaking my head, I respond with a resigned, “No.”

“Hmm.” Wes nods and is silent for second as we both look out across the yard. “Well, why don’t you ask him?”

“What? Me propose to him? Nobody does that.”

“Why not?” He shrugs. “Since when are you conventional?”

“What would I even do? I don’t know how to come up with a grand proposal idea?”

Wes grins. “First of all, who said anything has to be grand? Intimate proposals are just as magical. Ask Jenny. She was over the moon. And secondly, you’re the queen of social media marketing. Surely you can come up with something.” He stands up and offers me his hand. “If you’re serious, you know Jenny and I will help you plan. We can do it over dinner.”

This might be the craziest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. Who am I kidding? It’s nowhere close to the craziest thing I’ve ever done, but I take Wes’s hand anyway.

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