Page 85 of Beautiful Crazy

Asher:*GIF of Matthew McConaughey saying “Alright, Alright, Alright.”

Beckham:TMI brother.

Me:You guys, I think I’m serious.

Graham:Oh.

Asher:… *Eyeballs emoji*

Beckham:Clearly Graham and Ash are throwing this to me.Ok first of all, men aren’t usually nymphos. The correct term would be satyriasis. Don’t ask me why I know that. I just do. What makes you think you have this condition? I mean besides the obvious?

Me:I like sex. A lot of sex. A lot of the time.

Graham:With a lot of people?

Me:Dude,No! Well, I mean not anymore. Not since Emily. I didn’t bone anyone for well over a year once I fell for her.

Beckham:Then you’re fine.

Me:Let me ask you something.What did you all do the day Dad told us about his diagnosis?

Beckham:I was on a boat in the middle of a goddamn lake and missed the meeting, remember?

Me:But what did you do when you eventually found out?

Beckham:I drove out of town and pounded the pavement until my legs didn’t work anymore.

Graham:I got a tattoo and then drank myself to sleep.

Asher:I took my bike for a long ass ride and then came back and played guitar with a bottle of whiskey next to me all night.

Me:All normal anger and sadness responses.You guys, I jacked off twice in the shower that evening. I tried a third time, but the nest was empty. That’s also the night I kissed Emily.

Beckham:And now you think you’re addicted to sex?

Me:I want her all the time. When I’m happy. When I’m sad. When I’m mad. The only time I don’t is when I’m exhausted. If I could spend my days wrapped up in her for the rest of my life, I would. It’s like she’s the only thing that makes me feel good.

Beckham:You guys have been an official item for what…a month maybe?

Me:Yeah.

Graham:Dude, this is the honeymoon phase. Enjoy it. Lacey and I are still enjoying it and we’ve been married for going on three months.

Beckham:You’re not a sex addict Emmett. You just use sex as your way of escaping. It’s your release. It’s something you have control over rather than something else controlling you. And as long as it’s just Emily you’re releasing with, and as long as she’s consenting, you’re fine. Have all the healthy sex you want. You two are going to be married eventually anyway.

Asher:That’s the truth.

Me:How do you guys know that?

Beckham:How do you NOT know that?

Me:I do know that. I’ve known it for a long time.

Beckham:Then why are we still having this conversation?

Me:Fuck. I don’t know. I’m just having a super shitty day.

Graham:Sooooo go home and blow off some steam…with Emily. *wink emoji*

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