Page 43 of Norah

My sleep doesn’t last long. I wake up screaming, with Ethan’s worried face above me. He’s holding my arms and shaking me, his voice a sharp command. “Wake up, baby, it’s just a dream.Wake up!”

Not the dream again. Nightmare, more accurately. As I drag myself back into wakefulness, I try to remember the last time I had this terrible dream. It’s been months, and I thought it was gone for good. No such luck. I think I know why it came back to torture me tonight. “Notagain.” I groan and drag a hand over my face in frustration.

“The same nightmare?” Ethan strokes my hair as he lays back down beside me. The touch is soothing, comforting. It helps keep me tethered to reality instead of drifting back into the shadows of my dream.

“Yeah, the same one. It’s been a long time. I guess I know why it came back.” I feel weary and defeated.Will things ever become normal?

We both lay curled together, silent in thought. After a few minutes, the lingering fear from the nightmare has mostly receded. I turn over to face Ethan and rest my head on his chest. The rhythmic movement of his breathing is soothing, and my heart regulates to match the beating of his.Two hearts beating as one.

Ethan’s voice breaks into the silence. “I have an idea. A way to find more information.”

“What is it?” Hope surges forward, tempered with a healthy dose of trepidation.

“Tomorrow, we call Roman. Find out what else he knows.”

That’s… a fantastic idea. Why didn’t I think of that?

ETHAN

First thing in the morning, I shoot off a text to Roman.

I hope he’s not in some remote ski locale, out of range of service. Not that I’m counting on getting anything valuable from the guy, but it’s the best idea I’ve got at this point. We needanswers. I’m tired of feeling like I’m playing a game but only know a fraction of the rules.

I still feel sick thinking about the events of yesterday; the idea of that happening when I’m not around makes me crazy. Now the nightmare is back again; it took months before it stopped waking her up screaming. How long will it takethistime? Will it go away again, or keep reappearing like a persistent monster?

Shit.I’m all in my head, thinking about worst-case scenarios. I know I should stop. It won’t help Norah if she sees me freaking out. She seems fine now, but I’m so twisted in knots of guilt and worry from seeing her suffer and not being able to fix it. Which makes me feel like a total failure, not even able to protect my future wife.If I can’t protect her, do I even deserve her?Groaning softly, I lean my elbows onto the kitchen counter and drop my head in my hands. “Shit.”

“Ethan? Are you OK?” Looking rumpled and adorable, her hair messy, Norah walks into the kitchen still blinking the sleep from her eyes. She moves next to me and puts her hand on my arm, looking concerned. “Is something wrong?” I raise my head and force a smile, but I’m unconvincing, since she frowns at me. “Are you still blaming yourself for yesterday?”

Busted.I don’t want to lay more worries on top of the ones she has already. She shouldn’t have to worry about my guilt on top of everything else. I try to think of an excuse, a vague explanation, but realize Norah deserves the truth. Not to mention, anything other than the truth would be a big enough whopper that she’d have to be blind not to see it.

“Yes. I know you’ll say it’s not my fault, and I know you’re right. The ravine was an accident, and we don’t know why you got so sick. But…” I take her hand, continuing, “I need to protect you. And I feel like I failed.”

“Youdidn’tfail. Youhelped meeach time. Getting me back to the car with a broken leg. Finding blood when I couldn’t even move. Holding me after my nightmare, helping me feel safe.” Her eyes soften as she goes on. “Sometimes protection isn’t precautionary. Sometimes protection happensafter, to help cope with things that have already happened. And you’ve been doing both since the moment I met you. So please don’t blame yourself. I don’t. You’ve been my protector from the start.”

I have to swallow a few times before speaking. Her words haven’t taken awayallmy guilt, but there’s a loosening of the bands that have been compressing my chest since yesterday. The determination to keep Norah safe has grown even stronger. Which is why we need answers.Why hasn’t Roman texted me back?If he doesn’t, I’ll have to find Frederick, and Ireallydon’t want to deal with him. Even if he redeemed himself somewhat during his last visit.

I’m about to pull Norah into my arms when my phone buzzes with a text. I can’t believe I’m hoping to hear from that grinning ski bum, who I think would hit on Norah if I weren’t around. It was hard to miss how he focused his giant white toothpaste commercial smile on her, eyes following her every move. He didn’t push ittoofar, though, plus hewasempathetic when Norah talked about Frederick.

Roman seems like what he is; an outgoing and friendly guy who likes to live life on his own terms. Having dealt with someactualmonsters back in the military, my gut tells me when I meet someone who’s evil. My gut is telling me that Roman is trustworthy. I just hope my gut isright.

“What did he say?” Norah’s voice is impatient as I pick up the phone.

Hmm. Interesting. “He wants to meet with us. Said he’s been planning on coming to the city, so we can meet while he’s here.”Something is telling me there is more to the text than it seems.“He’s going to be here tomorrow, so we won’t have to wait long.”

Norah’s brow furrows in thought, and she nibbles her lower lip before speaking. “That’s good… but… why meet in person?”

So she’s getting the same feeling as me. I nod. “It is a little odd. We could easily just talk on the phone or video chat. But it’s also possible that he just wants to come to the city. He could have friends here- who knows? We’ll just be cautious and find out more when we meet him.”

My phone buzzes again, and I glance down to read another message. “He’s suggesting a bar in Hell’s Kitchen, says he knows the owner, so we’ll be able to get some privacy there.” Norah nods, so I fire back a quick text confirming the place and time. Plans set, I put down the phone and tap my fingers across the counter, thinking.

Teeth still worrying her lip, Norah seems conflicted. “I’m not sure what to think,” she says. “I’m glad we can talk to Roman and maybe get some answers. But I’m also getting a weird vibe, like there’s something he wants to tell us he doesn’t want to say over the phone.”

What if he wants to see us in person for a more sinister reason?The thought comes unexpectedly, but also rings with the possibility of truth. My gut about Romancouldbe wrong. If it is, Norah could be in danger. “Maybe I should meet with Roman by myself.”

She blinks at me, surprised, before replying. “No way. I should be there. We’re probably being paranoid after all the stress of yesterday. Roman is a nice guy.” Before I can argue her points, Norah gives me a little smirk and continues. “Plus, we’ll get more information if I’m there. YouknowI’m right.”

I knew it.I wasn’t the only one who noticed the direction of all those million-watt smiles. Realizing she’s got me over a barrel, I say, “Fine. But he’d better cool it with those looks he was giving you last time.” Then an idea hits me, and I feel stupid that I hadn’t thought of it immediately. “I just thought of something. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this earlier.”

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