Page 42 of Loved to Death

Thomas had to admit, being married to Sarah with Jeffrey aroundwouldhave made him happy. “How did you convince my family that we’d got married?”

“I showed them our marriage certificate.”

Thomas opened his mouth to argue but she continued.

“The judge was a regular customer. The week after you died, I told him I was pregnant with your baby, and that I’d tell his wife the baby was his if he didn’t forge one for me. He did it that same night.”

“You knew you were pregnant the last time we were together, and you didn’t tell me?”

“I suspected, but my monthly visitor might have just been late. I was planning to wait a few weeks to be certain. But once you were gone, I needed to secure my future either way.”

“I always knew you were smart,” he said, somewhat in awe of her.

She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m a widow with no wedding, a mother with no husband, and a confidant with a dead best friend. I’m not sure smart applies.”

“I’m sorry. I wish I could stay and be a husband and father, but I can’t.”

“You’d have made a wonderful father.”

Thomas doubted that and changed the subject. “Is my family treating you well?”

“Yes. Little Thomas and I have everything we could possibly want. Even your father accepted us into the family.”

“Good. I’ll send you money general delivery to the post office every month from this point forward.”

She shook her head. “You don’t have to do—”

“He’s my son. I can’t be his father, but I’m damn sure going to send you money.”

“Very well. I’ll stash it away for his future,” she said.

“If you ever need to reach me, you can send a letter general delivery to the Portland post office. I’m there at least three times a year if not more. And you don’t have to…but I’d…well, I’d be grateful if you could send me letters to let me know how he’s doing.”

“I’ll consider it.”

Thomas noticed movement on the porch and looked to see his mother step out next to Samuel.

“What’s going on?” Elizabeth asked.

Thomas hunched down and moved so that Sarah was blocking most of his body from his mother’s sight.

“I should go,” he whispered to Sarah while his brother tried to convince their mother that nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

Sarah nodded. “That would be best.”

He backed away and then darted around the side of the stables, where he couldn’t be seen from the porch. He stood there eavesdropping while both Samuel and Sarah talked his mother into believing that Sarah had just needed some fresh air.

Once they’d all gone inside, Thomas crept over to the window once more, only to find the curtains had been drawn. He forced himself to walk away, even though every instinct in his body was telling him to stay. As he walked down the road, his mind brought up his brother’s words again and again.

Do the right thing for once in your life.

As he walked, he sensed an abrupt shift in Shen’s emotions. He’d gone from guilt to lust in the span of two seconds. Thomas closed his eyes in shame. He couldn’t be a husband to Sarah or a father to Thomas Jr., but he could absolutely rescue Shen and teach him how to survive without killing.

Taking in a deep, unnecessary breath, Thomas repeated his brother’s words aloud. “Do the right thing for once in your life.” His soul flooded with newfound purpose. He nodded to himself, looked to the east, and said, “I’m coming for you, and I won’t stop until I find you.”

***

1882, Dakota Territory

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