Page 26 of Loved to Death

“Three years?” Thomas asked, his arms tightening around Shen. “You deserve better than that.”

“Deserve?” He shook his head. “I don’t deserve better. If my mother knew about the things I’ve done, it would break her heart. And my father would be too ashamed to show his face in public ever again.”

Thomas was silent for a few moments before quietly agreeing. “Mine, too.” Then he kissed the top of Shen’s head. “My parents didn’t even know what I was doing when I stayed out all night, and it still broke my mom’s heart. My father was so ashamed that he kicked me out. If he’d known the truth…he might have killed me.”

Shen squeezed Thomas and closed his eyes against thoughts of the outside world. “I wish I could sail away. Go to an island where I could be myself without the prying eyes of my family and friends.”

“Sail away,” Thomas repeated absently.

“Every time I pick up a shipment at the docks I just stand there looking out at the waves and think about leaving. My disappearance would upset my parents, but they wouldn’t be devastated because I have two older brothers and three older sisters. And the thought of taking a wife makes me ill.”

When Thomas didn’t respond, Shen picked his head up and found Thomas staring at the fluttering curtains on the window. “What are you thinking about?”

Thomas’ eyes snapped back to his. “Would you sail away with me?”

“What?” Shen shook his head. “What are you—”

“If I went to the harbor and bought us passage on a ship tonight, would you come with me?”

“Tonight?” Shen asked, mind reeling. He’d thought about leaving so often that the idea had turned into an unobtainable fantasy rather than a possibility. “We just met.”

“I know, and I’d give you more time if I could, but it has to be tonight or not at all.” He put a hand on the side of Shen’s face. “Not only are we compatible in bed, but because you’re Chinese and I’m white, we have the perfect excuse to share a room wherever we go.”

Shen’s eyes narrowed.

“No one will question it if I tell them you’re my man servant.”

“Servant?” Shen shook his head. “My father didn’t come to America and create a thriving business by working from sunrise to sunset so that I could become a white man’sservant.” The multiple racial slurs he’d endured over the years from white people on the streets echoed in the back of his head.

Thomas rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t actually be my servant. It’s simply an excuse…a ruse to share a room. If you know of a place on this earth where we can tell people we’re lovers and have them accept it without question or retribution, then I’ll pay whatever it takes to get there.”

Shen broke eye contact and glared at Thomas’ chest. He knew of no place where they’d be accepted as lovers. He also couldn’t think of anywhere thatwouldn’taccept them as master and servant.

Thomas’ hand moved from the side of Shen’s face to his chin. He tilted Shen’s face up to make eye contact again. “I like obedience all the time, not just in bed,” Thomas said earnestly. “And I’d wager all my money that you enjoybeingobedient all the time. That’s who we are at our cores. If you stripped away my skin, I’d still be that person. Playing master and servant would be a way to flaunt our true nature in front of everyone. Like a game that only we’re privy to.”

Shaking his head again, Shen said, “You don’t understand. Maybe youcan’tunderstand what it’s like to be hated by strangers passing by. I could enjoy being obedient for you all day if we were alone, but I couldn’t stomach being obedient to you in front of the people who hate me. They already see me as nothing more than an object to own.”

Thomas frowned then slowly nodded. “You’re right, I don’t fully understand, but I accept it. So we travel as business partners and we get separate rooms. We can work on a better story while we travel. Come to the harbor with me, and we’ll find passage.”

Shen opened his mouth to say no, but the word wouldn’t come. If he stayed, he’d always wonder what might have been. His life would become one of regret. But if he left with Thomas, he would be stepping into the unknown. Ships went down all the time. He might end up at the bottom of the sea. Or he might end up in an area of the world that was even less accepting of his proclivities.

Thomas interrupted his thoughts. “I’m going to need an answer in the next fifteen minutes. Sunrise is about two hours away. I have to be on a boat out of town before that, with or without you. I really hope you’ll say yes. If things don’t work out, you can always come home.”

With that thought in his head, Shen came to a decision.

“Yes. I’ll go with you.”

***

Thomas leaned in and gently kissed Shen’s lips as newfound hope rushed through his veins. Getting on a ship had never occurred to him before, but it seemed like the perfect solution. Polly might be able to sense him, but she couldn’t follow him without getting on a ship herself,andforcing the ship she got on to follow his.

With his freedom at hand, Thomas’ soul bubbled with energy. He let go of Shen, sat up, and said urgently, “Get dressed.”

Thomas stood, pulled his clothes on as quickly as possible, and thought about logistics. They’d need money. Lots of money. His eyes went to the door as his thoughts turned to the money he’d given the manager.

“Stay here,” Thomas ordered while Shen was putting his shirt on.

“What?” Shen asked. “Why do you—”

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