Page 36 of Loved to Death

“Have you ever met any other undead during your travels?”

“No one other than you, Thomas, and my husband. My husband never told me how he came to be undead. He never even told me how he turned me. I didn’t find that out until I accidentally turned Thomas.”

“Do you think there could be a way to become human again?”

“Become human again?” Polly laughed. “Of course not. Some things are irreversible.”

Shen shook his head. “Most of my life I believed that death was irreversible, and yet I am both dead and alive at the same time in the same body. If becoming fully dead is possible through sunlight as you say, then why wouldn’t it be possible to become fully alive through some other means?”

“Such as?”

Shen sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Because it’s not possible.” Polly looked back over her shoulder to see him out of the corner of her eye. “It’s best not to dwell on impossible fantasies, Zhang. It will only cause you more misery in the long run.”

He dipped his head once in acknowledgement of her statement. She was probably right, but the usual satisfaction he received from her mistakenly using his family name instead of his given name increased. He refused to quell the rising hope in his chest, no matter what she said. He had to explore the possibility of becoming fully alive again, even if it ended up making him more miserable in the long run.

If they were still in San Francisco, he’d know where to start. There was an old doctor who frequented his father’s spice shop. Everyone in Chinatown went to him for advice on curing various illnesses, and he always had some kind of treatment for them. It might be a tea, an ointment, a poultice, an acupuncture session, a tincture, or a list of foods to consume or avoid, but he never sent them away empty-handed. Even some of the white folks went to him for help. If anyone knew of the existence of the undead and how to reverse the process, it would be him. But they were a long way from San Francisco where Shen might be a murder suspect.

“Miss Polly?”

“Yes?”

“When do you think it will be safe to go back to San Francisco?”

“Five or six years.”

The old man might make it that long, but odds were against it. “Could we go back for just one night?” he asked.

“Go back? Why? I told you it’s not a good idea to say goodbye to anyone.”

“There’s a very old doctor in Chinatown who I want to consult. I want to ask if he’s ever heard of the undead. Maybe he would have a remedy, or at least ideas for a remedy.”

Polly shook her head. “That’s a fool’s errand. Consulting him wouldn’t lead to any satisfying answers, but it could very well lead to us being hunted down.”

Shen sighed and looked out at the sea in the distance. He knew she had a point, and chances were that the doctor wouldn’t know anything about the undead, but that didn’t stop his curiosity from growing. After a few moments, he said, “My father says Portland has a Chinatown almost as large as ours. Maybe we can spend a few nights in the city. Find out who the local doctor is and if they’re well respected.”

Polly pulled the horse to a stop. She dismounted and gestured for Shen to get down as well. Once he was standing in front of her, she put a hand on his shoulder. “There’s no practical or magical way to become human again. You need to stop this line of thinking.”

He broke eye contact to look down at his feet. He hadn’t disagreed or argued with Polly since they’d been traveling together. It was against his nature to argue with anyone, but especially with an authority figure, and Polly had made it clear that she expected him to see her as such. That had been difficult for him the first couple of nights. But once she told him her life story, and he found out she was actually forty-three, though she looked eighteen, he found it difficultnotto show her some respect. But this time, the stakes were too high for him to just let it go. He glanced back up and pleaded, “But surely someone out there knows more about it than we do, Miss Polly. Aren’t you even the least bit curious? Isn’t it worth the risk to find out?”

Her furrowed brow and frown gave him his answer before she had the chance to speak. He was expecting her to say no, but to his utter shock, she slapped him across the face.

“Ah!” The startled noise came out of his mouth as he covered his stinging cheek. He bowed his head down in deference to her. “I’m sorry, Miss Polly.” A few seconds ticked by, and when she didn’t speak, he looked up at her. She was staring at her hand with the same shock he was experiencing. Maybe she’d never slapped anyone before.

“Miss Polly?”

Her eyes darted back to his and then narrowed. “Be still,” she commanded.

He froze, unsure what to expect. But when she raised her other hand as if to strike his face again, he ducked his head way down so it was lower than hers, even though he was slightly taller. “Please, Miss Polly. I’m sorry.”

She grabbed his shoulders in both hands, pushed him upright, and gave him a little shake. “I told you to be still!”

Bewildered by her strange behavior, he forced himself to stand up straight but kept his hand covering the spot she’d slapped.

Another slap, even harder than the first, landed on his other cheek.

“Ow,” he complained, and bowed his head again, blocking her access to his face. “I promise I won’t ever mention it again.”

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