Page 1 of By Candlelight

one

DREW

I was standing stillwhen it happened. Just standing and staring at the Christmas decorations that had exploded all over town, turning Moon Harbor into a picture-perfect holiday postcard. And I just stood there looking at it.

I wish I could say I admired the evergreen garland and red ribbons covering Harbor Street's gas lights, or the oversized peppermint candy-looking pinwheels stuck in the frozen ground every few feet, but I didn’t. In fact, I hated it because it was all a reminder of the fact that I hated Christmas, hated decorations, and hated my current life.

And that’s when gravity—with a little help from its friend, black ice—played a fun game and sent me straight to the cobblestones on Moon Harbor’s sidewalk.

“Dammit!” I said from the ground. A group of teens who’d just witnessed me falling onto my ass laughed and pointed. A look in their direction had them scurrying away, but didn’t stifle their mirth. It was turning out to be a shit day and I just wanted to get home. But that was impossible, apparently.

I stood up and brushed myself off, then continued on my way to The Witch’s Brew to grab a tea and figure this shit out. I’d just been informed that my condo was to be vacated—immediately—and for the next seventy-two hours, “at minimum.” A gas leak. Which was dangerous, yeah, but where the hell was I supposed to go? Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, for fuck’s sake.

I walked into the warmth of the cafe and tried to shake off the anger and annoyance that coursed through my body. I’d never been an asshole but the past few years had made me so. It was one shit storm after another, and I needed to do something to change the course of things. I could tell everyone was getting sick of me, and frankly, I was getting sick of myself. But hearing I was out of a home for Christmas, and not having anywhere to go, was making the big turnaround difficult.

My dad had recently moved down to Florida and had sold the family home after we both decided the bad memories were too much to live with. The only other family I had in town was my sister, and that was awkward because until recently, I didn’t even know I had a sister.

Alex was great, and I knew she’d take me into her home in a heartbeat, but I felt weird about it. There was still a lot of trauma, according to my therapist, that we were both “unpacking.” Whatever the hell that meant. But I guess what it really meant was that it was still hard for us to get close. And that was fine. We’d get there in time. Or maybe not.

But I sure as hell didn’t want to join in on family activities or ruin her first Christmas as a married woman with my bad attitude. She had finally found some happiness. Staying away was honestly the least I could do.

Then I’d tried to get a hotel room, but every damn one was booked. The Moon Harbor Historical Society had chosen this year to boost the off-season with a Christmas Spectacular. Tours, wine tastings, an indoor festival, horse-drawn sleigh rides, the works. They’d been advertising it for months, apparently, not that I bothered to notice. I guess it worked though. Because I called around to every hotel in town and none of them had vacancies. Not even the run down motel on the outskirts.

And while I’m sure, if I pressed, I could stay with one of my friends, I didn’t want to go that route since I’d been alienating myself from them too, and I knew none of them would want to take me in. They would, because they were good people. But they’d do it reluctantly. And once again I realized, I’m the asshole and I’d be ruining someone’s Christmas. So that was not an option.

“Hey Sara,” I said as I approached the counter. Like most of the town, I’d always had a bit of a crush on the owner of the Witch’s Brew. She was beautiful and smart and far too good for my grumpy ass, so I’d never tried to pursue it. But we were friendly enough. And she made the best coffee and tea in town, so I’d always be a patron.

“Hi Drew, how’s it going?”

I grunted and shrugged my shoulders. She smiled slightly and waited for me to order, correctly guessing that I wasn’t up for conversation.

“Can I get a large black tea please? And a side of lemon?” I looked around the bustling cafe. “To stay, I guess.” I handed her a five dollar bill and she quickly returned my change. I slipped it all into the tip jar.

“Sure thing. Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll bring it out in a minute.”

I nodded and then sat in one of the wooden chairs at a small table by the window. Scrubbing my hand over my face, I noticed the stubble was longer than usual. I needed to shave but couldn’t bring myself to do it. These days, taking care of myself was not on the table. I did my basic daily shower and brushed my teeth, but anything else felt like too much effort. And wow, that was fucked up.

Sara appeared at the table and set down a steaming mug of black tea and a dish of lemons.

“Thank you.”

She smiled, patted my shoulder, but said nothing, then turned back to the steady stream of customers. I could tell she knew something was off with me. Sara had a sixth sense about those things, but she also knew as well as anyone else, I guess. Apparently I never let anyone in, as my dad liked to remind me every other month or so. I wasn’t sure if that was true, but I also didn’t have any proof to the contrary, so I just assumed it was.

I squeezed two lemons into the tea and took a sip. The flavor was as sour as my mood. But it was what I craved, so I drank it greedily while I looked out the window. People swarmed the sidewalk, window shopping, sipping hot chocolate, admiring the decorative lights the town put up all over. Tourists rarely ever came back to town in the winter, but Christmas usually had a small uptick of visitors. But I’d never seen this many people in town in the winter. It was exhausting.

I watched a man squeeze through the throng and realized it was Sam Waters, my new brother-in-law. We’d been friends since school, but never close, and now he was a part of what little family I had left anymore.

It was weird to think I had a new brother. Especially because of what happened to my real brother. Aaron’s face entered my mind, his crazed expression piercing through my memories. I felt a flashback coming, and screwed my eyes shut to block it out. It worked about half the time, this one included, and when I opened my eyes again, I saw Sam shake his head as a teen almost barrelled into him.

I shook off the memories and watched Sam make his way to the door of the cafe. The bell above the door jingled and he stepped inside, wiping his boots.

“Hey,” he called, and approached the counter. He ordered something and turned to survey the room, his eyes landing on me. I nodded my head, not wanting to be rude—or more rude than I’d been for months—but also not wanting to engage in conversation. If I had a place to go, I wouldn’t have been here in the middle of a loud cafe. I’d be home, by myself, like everyone wanted.

“Hey Drew.” Sam made his way over to me after all, so I had no such luck.

“Hey man, how’s it going?”

“Ah, you know. Busy time of year, I just unloaded my last delivery at McClintock’s but I have a few others to make to private buyers. Trying to get it all done before tomorrow.”

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