Page 2 of By Candlelight

“Right.” Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, so he would be spending it with Alex and his little sister, Ellie, and their friends. Alex had mentioned it a few weeks back and invited me over for Christmas dinner, but I’d declined. I saw the disappointment in her expression, but also a sense of relief. Or maybe that was my own.

He sat down in the chair across from mine. “You coming over for Christmas?”

“Ah, gonna spend it at the hospital like usual.”

“Man, that sucks. But I guess it’s needed, right?”

“Yeah,” I said, nodding.

The only thing I had going for me was my job as the head of security for the local hospital. I’d just started there last year and it was the only reason I got out of bed most days. My job as Director would normally give me the holiday off but since almost everyone else in my department had families and actual shit to do on Christmas, I signed up to work.

“You want to stop by after your shift? We’re having dinner on Christmas Eve but you can come over whenever. Well, if this blizzard doesn’t shut us all down.”

Shit. I’d forgotten about the blizzard warning. One more thing to piss me off.

“Snow isn’t supposed to hit till Monday, I thought?”

“That’s what they’re saying, but I don’t know, I’m feeling like it’ll be earlier. Either way, you should come to dinner.”

“Thanks, but I’ll probably try to stay at the hospital all weekend. My apartment has a gas leak and we had to evacuate for at least 72 hours, or until they get their shit together. And I’ve tried all the hotels in town, but every single room is booked for the whole fucking week.”

“No way, that sucks, man. Just come stay with us. We have a guest room.”

“Oh, no, I mean, I appreciate that, but you know…I’m not good company right now.” I don’t know why I said that. I don’t know why I said any of it, to be honest. I never confided in people or asked for help and here I was, kind of doing both. Or at least hinting at it. “I’ll be fine though, they have some cots at the hospital so I’m hoping to grab one.”

That was somewhat true. Technically they were for doctors on call or working unusually long shifts. But I couldn’t see any other option and doubted anyone would mind, since most of the staff would be eager to get home.

“Come on. You know Alex has been wanting to spend more time with you. And you know it’d be better to spend the holiday with family than on a cot at work.”

There it was.Family. Why was I having such a hard time accepting it? Embracing it? Alex was a dream sister. She was kind, and caring. She never pushed too hard. She was quiet, but funny as hell when she let herself open up.

But our history was still too raw.

“I know, I’m just…I don’t know if I can handle all that.”

I didn’t know what “all that” even meant, or what else to say, but Sam seemed to know that. He looked me over, eyeing me while he pondered something. I liked the guy, but I didn’t like being beholden to anyone and I certainly didn’t like how well he saw through me.

“You know what? I get it, man. Before I met Alex, I wanted to be alone all the time. It was hard just getting out of bed sometimes.”Damn.

Sam continued, “It’s not the same. I mean, I know this is more complicated than that, but…it’s no use pushing you if you’re not ready.” He looked around, contemplating something else. “We’ll be here when you are.”

The ghost of a smile hit my lips, and I felt my warmth bloom in my chest. It was true, I wasn’t ready. But Sam’s words helped. And I knew Alex would feel the same way.

And then he said, “But in the meantime, we still have Alex’s cottage. No one is living there. She's been renting it out in the tourist season, but it’s been vacant since Thanksgiving. She had a booking for Christmas but they canceled yesterday. It’s all yours if you want it.”

“Wait, really?” My jaw hit the floor. I was complaining to Sam, venting really—who even knows why—and didn’t mean for it to turn into an invitation. But this could turn my whole day around.

“Sure.”

“I’ll pay for it. I just…man, thank you. I don’t even know what to say. Everything is booked because of the festival, and…” I stood and shook his hand. “I really appreciate it, I do.”

“No worries. And don’t worry about payment, Alex would never have that. It’ll be our Christmas gift to you.” He clapped me on the shoulder and smiled. “Just, maybe think about coming for dinner one of these days. No pressure.”

I nodded and my face formed the closest thing it could to a smile. It probably looked like I was in pain, but Sam didn’t seem to mind.

“Thanks, man. I promise I will.”

“There’s a lockbox but I don’t have the combo with me. We keep an extra key under the third rock to the right of the porch. You remember where the cottage is? Carol’s old one?”

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