Page 72 of Unexpected Kisses

“What don’t you understand? I’ve fallen for you and you’ve fallen for someone else.” She huffs, hiding her eyes from me.

I collect her hand in mine and squeeze lightly, taking a moment to absorb her confession, which was completely unexpected. “Cupcake, can you please look at me?” I wait for what seems an eternity, while my heart tries to beat its way out of my chest, for her eyes to meet mine. “The woman I said I was interested in … she’s you.” Sarah’s eyes widen. “I too have a confession. You see, I’ve also broken our agreement and fallen for you. As much as I want to help you get pregnant, each month that we’ve been unsuccessful I’ve been grateful I get to spend another month with you. I know it makes me an asshole, but I’m being honest with you here.”

She smiles and blows out a breath, then proceeds to start chuckling. Slowly at first, then her chuckles turn into full-blown laughter. “Oh my God. What a pair we are.”

It’s amazing to see her demeanor change so drastically. She’s always been so confident, but it was missing on Thursday night and this morning. At least now, I sort of understand these walls she’s been working hard to keep in place. “So where do we go from here?” I ask.

She shrugs. “I don’t know.”

She’s still holding back. Even though she knows I’ve fallen for her, she’s still closed. “Would there be anything wrong with us seeing where this leads? I want to be with you.” I can’t be any clearer about my intentions.

“Uhm, I still want to have a baby. It doesn’t seem like the best way to start a relationship.”

I shrug. “It’s worked for us so far. It may not be the norm, but who says we have to follow society’s expectations? So what if that’s how we start out? Why can’t we do things the way that works for us?”

“I guess so.”

She’s not convinced. “What else is holding you back, Sarah?”

Creases form between her sculpted brows and I lean forward to stroke my finger over them, wanting to erase her concerns. If only it was as easy as erasing some creases.

“What makes you think something else is holding me back?” She swallows. Awkwardness has replaced the lightness which was there mere moments ago.

I tilt my lips up slightly. “As I said before. I’ve gotten to know you a little. I’ve felt the more time we’ve spent together, the higher you’ve built your walls. And even now that we both know we’ve fallen for each other, you’re still throwing up barriers. I can sense them.” She nods slowly, her eyes tracking around my face. I can see a war going on inside her; she’s not sure if she wants to open up completely yet. “Come on. Let’s lay it all on the table, so to speak. Then we can move forward.”

She studies me closely as if trying to work out if I’m genuine. She must see what she needs. “If I’m going to be completely honest with you, my priority is starting my own family. I’m happy to do it on my own because it’s not guaranteed the father will stick around. The number of relationships that fail outnumber the relationships that work and I’ll need to make my child my number one priority. Their safety, happiness, and well-being are what will be most important to me and I can’t risk starting a relationship only for it to fail.”

Woah. I didn’t realize her views on love and relationships were so negative. There’s a lot of love in her family, so I’m not sure where this is coming from. “No relationship is guaranteed. You know that, right?”

I watch her cement another brick back in place. “Yeah, I know. I’ve watched more relationships fall apart than stay together. It’s made me wary, I guess.”

I frown. “But your parents are happily married, and so are your brother and sister.” I don’t get it.

“Yeah, but Em’s first marriage fell apart. They had two kids together and that wasn’t enough to make Preston stay. My ex, Michael, chose a promotion over our relationship and we’d been together since high school. Mel’s dad walked out on them when she was five. Men don’t stick around. Not generally.”

And now we’re finally at the crux of the issue. I choose my words carefully. “I understand what you’re saying. I’ve also witnessed many failed marriages and I honestly wouldn’t say my parent’s marriage is a great example either. But when I say no relationship is guaranteed, those words are true to some extent. However, there are things that couples can put in place to ensure they have a better chance at success. Couples need tochooseeach other every single day. It must be a decision each and every day to stay with your partner, to show them how much you love them, appreciate them, and adore them. It’s not always going to be easy and as I said, I, like you, have been witness to marriages and relationships falling apart. But when I think about them, when I pick apart their relationship, I don’t think they chose each other every single day.”

Sarah nods and after a long moment, she finally responds. “I guess so. That makes sense.”

“I’m asking for a chance, Cupcake. Let me adore you.” I hold out my hand, hoping she’ll take it.

“You don’t think it’s too much that at the beginning of our relationship, I’m trying to have a baby?” she asks, still unsure.

“We’re”—I widen my eyes and wave between us—“trying to have a baby, and no I don’t.” She still looks uncertain. “Share the day with me. Let’s have some fun and spend time together that’s not about getting pregnant, but just hanging out.” I lift my eyebrows with a hopeful expression still waiting for her to place her hand in mine.

Her lips tip up at the corners and she begins to nod meekly, gradually increasing in confidence. “Okay.” She finally places her hand in mine and I feel as though I’ve cracked the greatest firewall on the planet.

“Okay?”

She giggles. “Yeah, okay.”

I throw my fist into the air. “All right!” I lean across the table and plant a light kiss on her smiling lips. “Let’s get outta here!”

I pay for our meals, keeping Sarah’s hand in mine. Not far from the café is a guy renting side-by-side tandem bikes, so I drag Sarah across to him. She giggles the entire way, making me feel lighter than I have in months. “Let’s go for a ride.”

She points to the yellow one. “On that?”

“Yeah. It’ll be fun.” I sign my life away, then hand over my credit card and we’re free to climb onto the bright yellow bike with a white and yellow striped canopy. It’s a gorgeous day, the ideal temperature, with the sun shining down on us. It’s like today knows this is a new beginning for us; the start of something beautiful.

---