I can actually see myself doing it.
Raising a baby. Being a mom. This time with my own kid.
I’m also terrified about messing it up.
I’m only eighteen. Can I be a good mom?
What about Jesse? What is co-parenting going to look like when he’s off to college in a few months?
There are so many variables to consider and I know at some point Jesse and I need to sit down and discuss all of it. But the thought of being alone with him is almost paralyzing. Being around him is like pouring salt on the wound then setting it on fire with gasoline.
Stephen wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you as soon as I found out, Stephen.”
He sighs, resting his chin on my hair. “I get it. Let's just not do this again, Ace. I’m your brother and we’ve always had each other’s backs. I don’t want you to hide anything for my benefit, okay? It hurts me more to know you would risk your health just so I won’t worry.”
I sniff, a lone tear spilling down my cheeks. Finally I’m all cried out.
“I promise not to keep anything from you ever again, Stephen.”
“You know you’d make the best mom, right?” He nudges my shoulder, sincerity lacing his tone. “You don’t have anything to worry about on that front.”
Leaning my cheek on the tub, I turn to look at him. My brother shifts his position so he’s facing me and there’s enough space between us to talk comfortably.
“You really think so?”
He flicks my nose, shaking his head like he can’t believe I would even ask a ridiculous question. He looks down, watching Reese for what feels like a heavy minute.
“Iknowso.”
Our dad said he was going to escort Jesse and his parents out the door a while ago, so it comes as a surprise when there’s a tap on my door an hour later. Our dad walks in, prompting both of us to stiffen.
“Ava?”
My throat dries up at the sound of his voice. Beside me, Stephen crosses his arms, as if bracing for a confrontation. I take a second to clear my throat, hearing his footsteps nearing my ensuite.
“We’re in here, Dad.”
He sticks his head in the bathroom, eyebrows shooting up at the sight of the three of us on the floor. His eyes dim when they focus on Reese sleeping on my lap.
“Stephen, could you take Reese to her room?”
“Anything you have to say to Ava, you can say in front of me.”
I resist the urge to grimace at Stephen’s combative tone. I expect our dad to call him out on it, but it never comes. Instead, he pinches the bridge of his nose and I swear I see the smallest hint of a smile behind his hand.
But it’s gone in the next blink.
“I’m not here to have a conversation with Ava. At least not right now.” He glances down at Reese again before he continues. “We will talk. The four of us. Tomorrow.”
My forehead creases in confusion as he gestures towards Reese. “For now, can you please carry your sister to a proper bed? Neither one of my girls should be sitting on the floor right now.”
Emotion rises up my throat, burning behind my eyes and nose, making me suddenly emotional at his use of the words,my girls.He hasn’t called us hisanythingin a long while. To hear him address us as such is both foreign and moving.
Stephen and I exchange confused looks, but he does what our father asks and lifts Reese in his arms. He gives me a quick peck on the cheek before he leaves the room. Our dad makes a move to follow Stephen but when I rise to my feet slowly, swaying a bit from the stiffness in my legs from Reese’s weight on it and sitting too long, he notices.
He turns to me, offering me his hand and helping me to my bed. Once I’m sitting down on the edge, he blows out a slow breath.