Page 63 of Glad You Exist

Liz’s face drops, “You guys don’t have to. Enjoy the party.”

I drop her hand and nod towards the sunroom doors leading to the back staircase.

“We’ll follow you up.”

Hesitating, she glances behind me at my cousins who have started a game of cornhole.

I shake my head at her, and thankfully she doesn’t fight me on it.

Ifollow Dan into the house, locking the door behind me.

I rest my back against the door and watch as he kicks his shoes off. He strides into the living room barefoot, ignoring his slippers. Sighing, I kick mine off too, placing our shoes on the rack. If mom were here, she’d rag on him for being careless.

Growing up half Filipino, it’s engrained in us to take our shoes off before entering the house. It amazes me that he still did it given his current state. I expected my brother’s anger, but I wasn’t prepared for his silence. He barely spoke to me on the way home.

When he picked me up, he didn’t even bother getting out of the car until he remembered his manners and yelled a quick Happy Birthday to Brad before we pulled out of the driveway.

If Dan had been paying attention, he would have noticed just how much Brad and Kyle don’t care for his whole Big Brother bit. I shot Brad an apologetic smile as we drove away and the smile, I got in return sent butterflies flying incessantly in my stomach.

Until now, I was still feeling the aftermath of it.

Might as well get this over with.

I slide my feet into my slippers, tossing my bag on the bottom stairs and follow Dan into the living room. I find him burning a hole on the carpet as he paces back and forth.

I curl up on the sofa, wrapping myself with a blanket, wishing I had said yes to Brad’s offer to borrow one of his sweatshirts. I could have wrapped myself up in his scent to get me through another Dan interrogation.

The guilt continues to prick me at the back of my neck and is starting to give me a full-on migraine. There were so many opportunities this weekend where I could have told them why Dan acts like this. How it’s not really my brother’s fault.

But at the same time, I know that once they find out what I did, it will change everything. Change how they look at me. Feel about me.

Given the current revelations swirling in my brain right now, it’s not a risk I’m willing to take. I am still trying to wrap my head around everything.

My brain and heart are both literally working on overtime.

From missing Mom to what happened with Hunter—what could have happened.

To finding out Brad had…has feelings for me?

To him kissing me…twice.

To me kissing him back. To it feeling right.

How it felt when I woke up this morning in his arms.

Like it’s where I’m supposed to be. He feels like home.

For the first time in a long time, I woke up at ease. Safe. Happy.

Something shifted between us the second he poured out his frustrations to me this morning. Suddenly he’s looking at me differently, touching me differently.

And I like it. I didn’t even notice it when I started doing the same. Touching him differently. Seeking him out. Looking at him as more than just…Brad.

It feels like we’re constantly being pulled to each other.

Our senses heightened to always know where the other is.

Even when he wasn’t anywhere near me, I was aware of him.

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