Page 108 of Glad You Exist

I just wish he would meet me halfway. I was trying and now I don’t know if I have any fight left in me.

I’m so emotionally spent. I acknowledge that now too. I’m exhausted.

But I’m also relieved now that I’ve allowed myself to feel everything at once.

To let go of the fear of falling apart and just feel for once.

I shut my locker just as a text pops up.

It’s from Olivia. She sent a group message to Dan and me saying thank you for last night.

Olivia invited us to dinner again and apologized for how my dad went about his proposal. Dan and I talked about it, and we realize how lucky we are to still have him in our lives. That we are happy that he found someone as great as Olivia to be with.

We accepted it because we love our dad and just want him to be happy.

We accepted it because we know that is what Mom would have wanted us to do.

I realize that my fear of saying I love you stems from losing mom. I had an appointment with my therapist two days ago and got back on my meds.

I needed to release all the doubt and anger in me because I owed it to myself to live and not give up… even if that means letting go of people who matter to me.

There are moments in life when you realize that no one will take better care of you than yourself. Sure, I have Dan, but he has his own life. He has Summer.

I have Kim and Kyle, but they have each other.

I had Brad and maybe I still do but its apparent that I can’t rely on that.

I need to start relying on myself and trusting myself to take care of me.

Without someone there to hold my hand.

I’m capable of picking myself up. I’m stronger than I was before.

* * *

“Liz?”

I’m too busy shoving my notebook in my bag to notice Kim standing just outside of history class waiting for me.

“Hey.”

Kim’s running her hands through her hair like she’s nervous about something.

I frown and I start to worry when she doesn’t respond right away. “What’s up?”

She looks at me for a bit, her brow wrinkling before she sighs,

“Brad talked to me in trig and—” Her mouth pinches like she’s both irritated and worried at the same time. “He said he’s not going to prom with us in the limo. He said he’ll see…us there.”

“Us? As inus?” I gesture to the both of us. “Or us as in you and Kyle?”

She shakes her head in a way that says bothI don’t knowand the implication that I’m not included in that conversation.

“I—I see.”

Kim’s hands wrap around my shoulders, and she leans in,

“Are you okay? I want to stay, but I promised my mom I would watch the twins.”

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