Page 93 of Glad You Exist

It’s beautiful. Magical.

“Brad…did—did you do all this?”

Someone scoffs behind us, and I twist around to find Kim and Kyle.

“We did.” Kyle looks genuinely proud of himself.

“Remember when we watched that Christmas movie and you wouldn’t stop gushing about fairy lights and ordered like ten boxes from Amazon?”

I nod. I don’t know where to look but I can’t tear my eyes away.

I am in awe of this Winter Wonderland.

Kim’s arms come around me and she hugs me close to her.

“You didn’t really think we would go to bed without making sure our favorite girl felt special on her eighteenth birthday, right?”

My chin trembles and I’m so close to completely losing it, especially when Kyle comes around and sandwiches me from the other side.

“Happy Birthday Little Lizzy.”

I squeeze them both, letting their weight and warmth settle and calm me.

An hourlater after Kim and Kyle have officially gone to bed, I snuggle closer to Brad on the daybed. I feel the exhaustion of the day finally hit me. Brad on the other hand is still being uncharacteristically quiet. Normally we sit in companionable silence, but I can tell by the tightness in his jaw that there is something on his mind.

I shift in my seat, resting my chin on his chest forcing him to meet my gaze.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He kisses the tip of my nose then sighs, “I’m okay, El. I just hurt when you do. I hate that you’re sad, but I understand why. It just kills me that I can’t take the hurt away.”

This guy. So selfless. So caring.

“It’s a strange contradiction that we feel the most sadness when were at our happiest.”

I offer him a small smile. “And I really am at my happiest.”

Brad’s gaze falls to my lips before he looks back up. His eyes soften.

“Brad. You. Did. That.”

Tucking me under his chin, he squeezes me gently then tighter with possession.

“I love you so fucking much, El. I still can’t believe I get to hold you like this. Call you mine.”

I push back a little, to say what, I don’t know.

I know I love him, that I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone. But somehow getting the words out, saying them out loud is proving challenging.

I know it’s senseless to be scared to say I love you to someone I know I love, but the last time I said I love you to someone, my mom died.

He stops me with a finger on my lips, “I need to say this. I need to do this.”

Brad reaches behind him, showing me a small black velvet box in his palm. At the sight of it, my heart fully stops. Finding it difficult to breathe, I try to draw air into my lungs as I struggle against the urge to panic. A box like that can only mean one thing.

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