Page 19 of Glad You Exist

I sit back on my haunches, completely unsurprised but still somehow feeling a twinge of shock at the same time. Thinking back, I remember how that summer both Liz and I left to go on family vacations. We were gone for pretty much the whole summer. I spent most of it travelling with my parents while Liz went to the Philippines with hers on what I now understood was a last-ditch effort by her parents to fix their crumbling marriage.

How when I came back, it felt like something had shifted in our group. That all of a sudden it was hard to just get everyone together even for a quick hang.

Liz sits up, a frown on her face. “I don’t understand. Why couldn’t you justtellus that?”

There’s tension in Liz’s tone and Kim takes offense at that. Her head tilts as her gaze narrows.

“You were being weird, Elizabeth.”

Liz scoffs. “That doesn’t explain a thing.”

Kim’s frustration turns into anger as she leans towards Liz, an eyebrow raised.

“You were my best friend then suddenly you weren't. He was my best friend then suddenly he was something more. You left me to deal with all that on my own. So, excuse me if I got pissed and pretended you didn't exist.”

Liz’s head rears back like she’s been punched, and she blinks rapidly. “I…I guess I deserved that.”

Kyle makes atsk-ing sound and regards Kim with a shake of his head. “Getting defensive is exactly what got us to this place. Cut that shit out.”

I put up a hand. “Hold up. Can we go back to the part where Kim said you guysdated? As in past tense? What happened?”

Kyle shrugs. “We were fifteen. Too much, too soon.”

My mouth quirks up. “And now?”

Kyle chuckles as Kim slowly turns to him, wanting to know the answer to that herself.

“We’re figuring it out. How’s that?” He waggles his eyebrows at her which makes her laugh, the tension melting off of her.

“Okay now that the cat’s out of the bag, how about I break this down since I might be the only one with no hang-ups here?”

Can’t argue with that. Man is chill as fuck even when the girls go at it.

“You guys weren’t around so we hung out together a lot. Started making out. It got way too intense for either one of us to handle on top of having to keep it a secret. We decided to just avoid any situations where we could slip up.”

“Why keep it a secret?” Liz asked softly.

Kim rolls her shoulders back and adjusts herself, so she’s facing both of us again.

“We didn’t set out to at first. Our parents didn’t even question us spending all that time together even without you guys around. Then we started hanging out more with the guys from the team and their girlfriends and when you guys came back, it just feltoff.When I would ask you to come out with us, you would say no. Brad came once but then made an excuse to go early, like if you weren’t there, he didn’t want to be either. So yeah, I got upset and stopped asking. I was fifteen, falling for a boy I used to give wet willies to and the one person I wanted to share that with wasn’t around.”

“I wanted to be, though.”

“Yes, but with conditions, Liz. You wantedusto hang out. It was like you were punishing me for having new friends. I didn’t take that well, obviously.”

Liz straightens in her seat. “It wasn’t like that at all.”

“Then explain it to me. Isn’t that what we were summoned here for?”

I feel Kim getting defensive again and it takes everything in me not to speak out of turn. This is something betweenthem.

I don’t need an explanation as to why Kyle didn’t tell me. I can figure that out on my own. I turn to look at him and understood what he wants to convey with just a shrug and a nod. I had only told one person about how I felt for Liz and that was Kyle. I’d confessed my feelings back in the sixth grade and as the years went on, he became the one person I vented to after becoming increasingly frustrated between not knowing what to do about my growing feelings and not wanting to ruin my friendship with Liz. I understand without needing him to say it that he had not wanted to rub it in my face how his friendship with our other friend had progressed into a relationship.

I give him mad props for that.

“Kim—” Liz’s voice cuts off in a wobbly whisper as she hugs her arms to her chest. With a determined pinch of her mouth that makes me proud as hell, she looks down at her lap and continues. “My parents were fighting every day. That family trip we took to the Philippines? It was supposed to be for eight weeks, but my dad didn’t even make it to two. He flew home early. I was left there with my mom reeling and my brother, who was having violent mood swings. I didn’t even know what we would come home to. But we never thought it would be to my dad’s stuff gone from the house and him making plans to move his practice to California. That he had planned all along to divorce my mom and move to where Danny was going off to college. I was dealing with all of that and I…” She trails off and rubs her eyes, tears pooling at the corners. I’m overcome once again with the sudden urge to pull her into my lap and kick everyone else out of this room.

Kim leans over the armrest, concern etched on her face. “What is it?”

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