Page 100 of Glad You Exist

She has always been more of a big sister than a friend to me, and in more ways than one, I have always regarded her as such. I want to reassure her that it’s not her fault.

Just like I did with Brad last night.

What happened to me was something that none of them could have prevented even if we had stayed friends back then.

I have depression. I got help. I’m doing better now.

“Elizabeth.”

“Hmm?” I force a smile on my face.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

Kyle leans on the counter next to me and wraps a protective arm around me.

“Whenever you start feeling like that again, will you tell me? I know it’s different with Kim and Brad. I have a feeling that it may be harder for you to let them know when it happens because you’re scared of hurting them or freaking them out.” He shrugs. “I promise I won’t hover or overreact. If all you need is someone there with you, I’ll sit there with you. I'll listen if you just want to talk it out. I’ll leave when the feeling passes, and I won’t say anything to them if that’s what you need or want. Just say the word, okay?”

I blink back tears. I’ve cried enough.

Kyle’s right. If it were to happen again, which it hasn’t since then, I couldn’t reach out to anyone else. Brad and Dan would hover and get overprotective. Kim would freak out and panic. They wouldn’t be able to do anythingbutoverreact.

Kyle wouldn’t do any of those things. He would just be what I needed, whatever that may be. A quiet presence or a sounding board.

I offer him a genuine smile, this time. “Thank you.”

He simply nods, pats my arm once then pulls away. His gaze falls on the oven door that's slightly ajar and he gestures to it.

"So, what are we having for breakfast?"

My smile widens. "I remember you guys always loved it when my mom made breakfast up here so..." I trail off as I open the door all the way for him to peek in and see.

I am rewarded with a grateful groan and a fist pump.

Inside, I had stored the garlic fried rice with egg, pork tocino, beef tapa and corned beef I made for breakfast. All covered in foil pans so they will stay warm. I didn't know how long everyone would sleep in. When I initially decided to make breakfast this morning, I figured I'd make crepes or waffles but when I rifled through the fridge, I was pleasantly surprised to see that not only had Aunt Rose stocked the kitchen, but she’d also made sure there were items from Seafood City in here. I shouldn't be shocked as she and mom had been friends for over two decades. The gratitude over her just knowing without asking almost made me weep this morning when I saw the familiar items. I thought back to all those months ago, to the last time I made breakfast for mom. The sheer force of missing her still leaves me breathless. I have avoided Seafood City since she died. Avoided cooking any of her favorites.

God, I miss the twinkle in her eye and sigh of contentment when she ate fatty foods, she knew were bad for her. The way she would wink at me at that first bite.

I just miss her period.

I shut the oven door and turn to grab the plates I have stacked when Kyle's hand falls on my shoulder. He nudges me away from the counter and turns me toward the entryway.

"Hey...Kim woke me up to make breakfast earlier. I bet she's still awake waiting. Let me set the table and clean up the living room while you girls talk. Then we can wake up Brad."

With a grateful nod, I leave him to it.

Iwander into the kitchen and find Kyle loading the dishwasher.

I quickly glance at the clock on the stove and drag a tired hand across my face.

It’s barely eight in the morning. Way too early to be awake on a Sunday.

Stifling a yawn, I lightly rap on the breakfast bar. "Good morning."

He looks at me over his shoulder, his eyes wandering from my hair to my chest before he lets out a chuckle and smirks. "Late night?"

I run a hand through my hair, cursing my lack of foresight.

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