Page 99 of Glad You Exist

I love you too.The words sit at the tip of my tongue.

* * *

"Morning, short stuff."

I whirl around in surprise, nearly dropping the carton of eggs I’m putting back in the fridge.

With the hand that’s clutching my chest, I smack Kyle on his arm.

"You scared me!"

Chuckling he reaches over me and grabs the carton of orange juice from the open fridge, and I scowl up at him.

"I would have asked you to grab it for me but that would take longer"—he grins mischievously—"on account of you needing a stepstool to reach it."

He sidesteps my attempt at another smack and goes to grab a glass from the cupboard.

I put the eggs back in the fridge and take a quick survey of the kitchen, making sure that I have cleaned up all the remnants of making breakfast.

Kyle is leaning on the counter, watching me with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Why did you make breakfast Lizzy?"

"Because my cooking is superior to yours."

I deflect, avoiding his eyes as I start to pull plates down to set the table.

"I won't disagree, but it was my turn to make breakfast today."

I count out the utensils and place them on top of the plates before turning my attention to the tall man interrogating me.

"I wanted to do something nice for you all."

"You don't have any reason to feel guilty."

I look away, bracing my hands on the counter.

Kyle hit the nail on the head with that one. He called me out. There is no use denying it.

I hear Kyle push off the counter and his glass clink on the marble counter. He sighs as he approaches me carefully turning me to look up at him.

"I feel it too, you know. I think I made that clear last night. I know Kim and Brad do...but you? You were going through some tough shit," He squeezes my arm gently before dropping his hand. "There is no reason for you to feel guilty or ashamed."

I nod because I have no way of refuting what he said but I can’t help how I feel.

This is my truth no matter how much they try to disprove it.

Last night, Brad tried. In between his frantic apologies and whispered promises, he tried to kiss my fear and shame away. It didn’t work.

After he drifted off, I lay awake playing the moment I told them about my suicide attempt repeatedly in my head. The looks on their faces are now scorched into my memory.

The frantic fear in Brad’s eyes. The protective tenderness in Kyle’s. The anguish in Kim’s.

That last one branded me hotter than any other

I need to find a moment to speak with her alone.

Kim has gone above and beyond for me these last few months.

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