“Nothing but good vibes. You were the first people he recommended.” She smiled and met her sister’s eyes. “Please don’t drape yourself over Ash. He’s not a chair.”
“She is very small and kind.”
“She doesn’t understand boundaries yet. Once she likes you, she invades your personal space like a limp noodle.” She sat down roughly on Roark’s thigh. Taking Ash’s hand, she traced his fingers. “If you need a break, we’ll take her.”
“No,” Ash said with a small smile. “She is okay.”
Kissing her mom, Amanda told her, “I’m going to swim laps.”
Moving to the furthest end of the pool, she watched her mother interact with her new protective detail. It made her smile. The entire time they’d had people in their house, Zoe acted like they were family. It was her nature to make people feel welcome.
Lap after lap, she let her mind be in the moment. The movement felt good, the stretching, the coolness of the water. Ten laps, twenty, she just existed: back and forth, back and forth, the outside world muffled, just in her own head.
For the first time in months, she felt clarity. She felt calm.
She’d been worried about leaving her family but the truth was, being with her family put them in danger, not her. The delays were for her benefit. She knew they’d miss her but they had lives, jobs, and each other.
Coming up at the other end of the pool, she pulled herself out, stood on the tile as she looked out over the land. She took her hair out of the tie, unbraided the length, wrung it out.
Dropping it down her back, she stared at the fields, the woods, the ridge. She loved her home. All her earliest memories were here, some of the best ones of her life.
Her grandmother had a gallery to run. Her father had his contracting business. Her mother couldn’t keep taking time away from the library. Heather needed to be on her schedule with Jan and Terrance.
Caroline had William. Her dad and mom had each other. They all had Heather and Amanda knew from personal experience what it was like to be the intense focus of their love, care, and attention. Heather deserved to feel that.
It wasn’t right to steal away her sister’s relaxed childhood – the one Amanda had enjoyed and thrived in – because she was selfish or afraid.
Zoe appeared beside her with a frown. “Honey…?”
Amanda turned to her and smiled. “I love you. I love all of you so much. I’m leaving in the morning.”
“I thought…”
“Like ripping off a band-aid, Mom. I need to go. I love you.”
She kissed Zoe and walked around the pool to her sister, who still acted like Roark and Ash were furniture. Crouching, she kissed Heather’s chubby cheek. “I love you, pretty girl.”
“I love you, Amanda.”
Meeting Roark’s eyes, she whispered, “We need to leave in the morning. First thing.” He nodded.
Then she walked into the house and went to shower. There was only one thing left to do before leaving Colorado. One thing to leave behind.
Her heart raced.