Page 5 of Lost Soul

I’m tall for my age, I use the gym at the club every day. The other prospect, Troj, has taught me enough about fighting for me to be confident that I can take at least one of them out. But both men are armed, as soon as I took one out, I’d be shot by the other, leaving both Mary-Ann and Hayley definitely dead.

The thought of losing either of them twisted my guts, and the fact I had a choice seemed to make everything worse.

In the end, impulse took over. I’ve lost a parent before, two in fact. I’d dealt with it. But I didn’t know how I’d deal with losing Hayley. I reached to the nightstand for my knife, then quietly crept up behind the guy who was about to open Hayley’s door. His gun fired, the bullet bouncing off one of the pictures on top of the stairs. And I didn’t have the time to register the lack of remorse I felt as I sliced my blade swiftly across his throat. The gurgling sound his body made soothed my anger, blood gushing thick and warm from his neck, coating my hand and spilling on to Mary-Ann’s perfect cream carpet. She’d fucking freak when she saw it.

The body made a thud as it hit the floor, and I looked up when the sound of another gunshot alerted me that the second guy had got to Mary-Ann. All I could do for her now was to get Hayley the fuck out of there…

I took my first bullet tonight, and I’d have taken a thousand more if it meant I could have saved Mary-Ann too. Never have I been more scared than I was when I pulled on to the compound. Prez had every right to blame me. Maybe there was some way I could have saved them both, but being a rookie kid, I’d panicked and cost him the life of his old lady.

I watch Prez pull Hayley out of my truck, hugging her tight before he calls Skid’s old lady over. Half the club are out in the yard, and suddenly I wish I was somewhere else.

Carly takes off with Hayley, and Prez thunders back towards the club, his small army of brothers parting to make a path as he marches through them and heads directly for me.

“Church,” he roars, and as he gets closer, I see the look in his eyes that I’ve only ever seen once before, the same look he’d been wearing when he looked down at my Pa’s stone-dead body. Only this time there isn’t any room for tears in them, the anger crowds them far too much.

“You too, son.” He nods, grabbing my shoulder and squeezing it in his bear-like hand as he passes. I swallow the lump that sticks to the back of my throat, and wipe palms drenched with blood on my leg. I can’t feel the pain in my shoulder anymore, and the fact I should probably see the doc as soon as possible goes on hold. I’m about to go to church, a place prospects never get to see. This is the day I’ve waited for since I was five years old and had to wait out in the hall for my pa, while he and the brothers in Utah discussed business. I’m finally about to enter church for myself, and all I’m wearing is fuckin’ sweatpants.

I try not to let being in the room effect my recollection of what the fuck has just gone down. I know how vital the finer details can be, and I tell the brothers as much as I can remember. When Prez hears what’s happened, he shouts his orders to the others. Grimm and a clean-up team are sent to the house to get rid of the Bastard’s body, and Skid goes to fetch the doc. One by one the brothers clear out the room, all knowing there’ll be no sleeping or fucking tonight. I’m about to follow the last of them out, but get halted by Prez’s voice.

“Not you, son, you stay. Me and you gotta talk.”

I watch him stand up from his seat at the head of the table, walk over to the cabinet, and pull out a bottle of single malt with two glasses. He places them on the table and half-fills them.

“Your daddy brought me this bottle the day Hayley was born….” he starts. “Knowing ya pa he would’ve had ten cases of the stuff stolen from an Irish import, but it was the thought that counted.” I snort a laugh that matches his, anxiously taking the glass he offers from his hand.

“You know me and your old man were best friends. Two of the original Dirty Dozen. He sat beside me in that chair right there for ten years before he left to set up his own Charter,” Prez lifts his glass up towards the VP spot that Chop now occupies.

“We rode together, fucked whores together. Ain’t nothing in this world I wouldn’t have done for that son of a bitch. Hell, I even raised his boy.” He slams his now empty glass down, topping it back up, reminding me that I haven’t touched mine. Consciously I bring the tumbler to my mouth and take a swig of the thick, amber liquid. The burn numbs my insides as it slides down my throat and settles in my stomach.

“I’m grateful for that, sir,” I take the opportunity to tell him, knowing that I don’t say it often enough.

“You know Mary-Ann never wanted this.” His heavy fist lands heavy on the table. “Nights like tonight remind me why,” he laughs. The guy’s old lady is turning stiff as we speak and he’s fucking laughing.

“I saw it in your eyes,” he changes the subject. “The day your pa left this world, I saw the determination, the hunger. You wanted in. You wanted retaliation for it. Am I right?” The humor dropped right out of his voice.

“Yes, sir,” I agree, it’s been my focus since I got here. I just hope that I haven’t fucked it for myself.

“Well, tonight you proved yourself. You saved my girl, took a fuckin’ bullet…” His lips pick up into a smile. “So you’re in.”

“What?” I check I’m hearing him right.

“You made the cut kid…” Prez moves to the cupboard at the back of the room.

“We already voted last week, I wanted to save this for when you turned eighteen, but tonight I couldn’t be any fuckin’ prouder.” My eyes fall to the cut he’s holding, the same one my Pa wore. The one I’ve been waiting to wear since as long as I can remember.

“I don’t know what to say, Prez,” I manage, still trying to catch up with tonight’s shit show and how it’s turned out like this.

“I do need you to answer me a question though.” Prez sounds serious as he holds out my new cut for me.

“Sure,” I shrug, taking the cut and sliding it on my shoulders.

“Why Hayley? I get that you could only save one of ‘em, but Mary-Ann was like a mother to you.” Prez looks puzzled.

“I dunno, instinct I guess,” I answer. Prez nods, seeming to accept my answer, but I’m not finished, I’m curious myself.

“Honestly. I always wondered if you sent me to live with them as some kinda test. Like you wanted to see which life I really wanted. I’d choose this club over anything. I was born to wear this cut...” I grip the lapels of it tight, remind myself that I’m actually wearing it. “But you gave me a mother and a sister at the same time, and I won’t pretend that I don’t care about them, because I do. I chose Hayley because I’ve lost a mother, I lived through it. But I ain’t ever lost a sister before. Didn’t quite know how I’d handle that…” There it is again, that horrible feeling in my chest brought on by thoughts of any harm coming to her.

“I cared for them, but I’m no civilian, Prez. I belong here,” I assure him in case there’s any doubt.

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