Page 6 of Lost Soul

“You’re right there.” Prez grips the back of my head. “And you’re fuckin’ smart boy, your dad would be proud.”

“I like to think so.” I knock back what’s left in my glass.

“And Hayley, you really see her as a sister?” he asks, a small hint of threat in his tone.

“Yes, sir. I love her like she’s my own flesh and blood.” I see his satisfaction, and it makes me relax a little.

“Jess, I don’t know why the Bastards went after my family tonight,” he admits, taking his seat again. “But until I find out, I’m gonna need someone looking out for my girl, someone she trusts. Last thing I want is to scare her with Squealer or Screwy, you think you’re up to it?”

“Yes, sir,” I nod, there ain’t no one better for the fucking job.

“Boy, you stop with that sir shit, I’m your Prez now.”

“Sure. Sorry, Prez”

“And for the record, I was never testing you. I saw something in you that reminded me of your father, I trusted it. Kinda hoped you’d naturally take on the brother role with Hayley. Never expected you to be smart enough to hide it from me though. You must have got that smart shit from your momma.” He sniggers.

I smile because he’s probably right, I never knew her, she died when I was two, but Pa was always telling me how smart she was.

“So, you’ll look out for Hayley for me?” he asks

“No need to ask, she’s family,” is my response.

“Yeah... Well, you proved that tonight. She can never know about this. I don't want her thinking she's in any more danger. But you gotta stay close, and I want her shielded as much as possible from the shit that goes on around here. She may have to be around the club from now on for protection, but it doesn’t mean she needs to know what we're about.”

“Sure thing, Prez,” I nod in agreement.

“Me and the brothers already talked about you moving up here after you patched. You can lodge up with Troj. We had to give Grimm his own place. He didn’t take to sharing his space too well.”

“Sounds good,” I agree, trying to imagine anyone sharing a cabin with Grimm, he’s always struck me as a little tapped. Troj would be the perfect roommate though. We were both prospects, and around the same age. Without competition, he’s the prettiest person with facial hair I’ve ever seen. His impressive height teamed up with long, brown hair has bitches dropping their pussies at his size elevens. But being deceived by his charming looks is a costly mistake to make, the kid is fucking lethal. He grew up on the streets, and he fought on them too before the club found him. Troj was discovered when he knocked Squealer clean out during a bar brawl. Squealer was, and still is, almost double his size. Pure man muscle, like his twin Screwy. So a kid taking him off his feet got Prez’s attention. They ended up bringing him back to Manitou Springs with them. It wasn’t like Troj had fuck all to stay in Denver for. I’ve always been convinced that he’d get his patch before me, guess I’d been wrong.

Living with Troj would be a blast, but my excitement didn’t stop me worrying about Hayley. She knows nothing about the club, been kept away from it her whole life, and now for her protection, she’s gonna be forced to live in the center of the chaos.

“You've had a long night, go get ya head down,” Prez’s voice interrupts my thinking.

“Prez?” I ask thoughtfully, he tips his chin at me.

“Can I go to her? I mean she's probably gonna wanna see a familiar face and you’re gonna be busy tonight.”

“I think that would be a good idea, Jessie, I’ll send the doc up to the lodge.” His head gestures to the door permitting me to leave. And despite the horrors of the past few hours, I step out of church feeling ten-feet tall. If I’m nothing to anyone else, I’m everything I’ve ever wanted to be.

I’m a Dirty Soul.

AGED 16

Something shifted between us the night Mama died. Jessie changed, he suddenly became my rock.

I moved into Daddy’s lodge at the compound straight away, and hated it from the moment I got there. I was no longer an ordinary girl, sheltered from club life. I was a part of it, and despite knowing jack shit about club business, I wasn’t stupid. I was aware of the other shit that went on around here that Daddy and Jessie tried to hide from me.

Jessie held me the whole way through Mama’s funeral, and it made me happy and sad at the same time seeing him wearing his daddy’s cut. I know how much becoming a Dirty Soul meant to him, but I couldn’t help feeling sad for my own selfish reasons. I may not know much about the club, but I know the club rules, and the biggest one of them is that Prez’s daughter is off limits.

The whole club showed up for Mama. Charters from miles away all riding in to show their respects. For me, only one person’s presence really mattered, and it was his hand I squeezed for strength as I watched Mama get lowered deeper into the damp, worm-riddled earth.

“She’s not there you know,” Jessie whispered to me under his breath, as if he could read what I was thinking. I looked up at him, my vision blurry through tears.

“She’s in here.” He moved his finger up and tapped it gently against my temple. “Always here,” he spoke so softly, smiling at me through his own pain.

I didn’t care who saw when I slipped my hands under his cut, wrapping my arms around his waist, burying myself into him. I comforted him just as much as he did me. I’d known since I was ten that I loved Jessie Donavon, what I’d learn over the next few years was how much I’d needed him.