Page 29 of Keeping Ava

How much I want all of this to be over so I can focus on the after. On the chance for something more.

Will I be alive to celebrate my birthday next month? A somewhat sobering thought.

My heart aches for all the families he’s destroyed. For the lives taken because I didn’t speak up when I should have.

“Why did I ever listen to you, Rose?”

“Where the hell have you been?” I whisper harshly, wiping away a tear as I wait at the now locked gate for her. The minute a hobbling Jason left, I ran out and closed it, standing watch and listening closely for any screams. I’ve sent her multiple messages, called her phone, and was seconds away from yelling for my dad when she walks back over.

Alone and smiling.

Chill. I’ll be right over. ~Rosie

I didn’t tell on her, and it’s all because of that single text. That, and the fact that I still don’t know how to process what happened.

Maybe it’s the shock. My anger and confusion.

The fear. Disgust.

“You’re being a Debbie Downer when I’ve just had the best night of my life, chick.”

“Are you kidding me right now? What you did was unsafe, Rose.” My heart’s still beating fast and my limbs are jittery—the area around my jaw is sore from Jason’s hold. “What were you thinking?”

“That he’s hot. That I like his attention.” She giggles, touching the right side of her neck with the tips of her fingers. “Don’t be mad, but I was busy enjoying myself. He’s so amazing, Ava, and—”

“Jason forced himself on me,” I blurt out, choking back a sob. A harsh shudder runs down my spine; I feel disgusting. Can still smell him on me. “He knocked me down and climbed on top of me. Pressed himself while covering my mouth with his hand...I couldn’t scream.”

“Are you sure?” She’s still smiling, nudging my shoulder as if I’m joking with her. “It’s probably a huge misunderstanding. A dick move, yes, but I’m sure Jason’s just messing with you.”

“He tried to—”

“No, he didn’t.” Rose grabs my hand then, her eyes pleading. “Don’t ruin this for me, please. He’s my future boyfriend’s best friend, and no one will believe you.”

“What the—”

“Ava?” Elijah calls out, tapping gently on the bathroom’s door. “Are you okay?”

“I’m almost out.” Standing, my muscles protest from being in one position for a while. God knows how long, and as I rush to lather and rinse off using his shower gel, again, it hurts. My legs are half asleep, and I hold onto the small built-in alcove for balance. “Give me five.”

“Take your time. I’m actually going to—”

“Can’t hear you! One sec,” I yell out, slightly panicking. Turning the temperature knob to a cooler setting, I dip my face beneath the water to wash away the tears that I’ve shed, hoping any redness calms down enough that I’m not questioned.

It takes a few minutes for me to regain full feeling and then turn the water off, grabbing a towel as I step out. Cool air hits my skin and I shiver, tightening the fluffy fabric around me.

He’s still just outside of this door. I can hear the heavy steps of his boots on the wooden floors.

I know when he stops just outside the door again. Hear the ringing of his phone. It starts and then stops, only to start all over again.

“Motherfuck,” Eli spits out, and I have a feeling it has everything to do with whomever is calling. “Sweetheart, I need to—” he trails off as I open the door, stopping in front of him in a terry cloth robe. I’m not trying to tempt him, but there’s no choice but to step out like this again when I left my clothing inside my room.

The same electrical currents flows between us—the palpable hunger and intensity from the last time—yet we don’t react.

Instead, his body tenses and jaw ticks, but his eyes remain on mine. Ever the gentleman, and I appreciate it.

Now’s not the time. We can’t be. I can’t.

No matter how much my body yearns for his arms to hold me. For him to comfort me.

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