Page 5 of Bind Me, Sir

Add in the fact I blamed myself for my father’s drunkenness—

The office door clicked open, and I turned, forcing a smile, squashing memories that too often plagued my thoughts.

“Good morning, Natalie,” Lily said, her face aglow as though she’d been thoroughly loved just moments earlier.

Jealousy slithered through my stomach. Her husband doted upon her, lingering touches and gentle kisses upon her brow and hair throughout the day evidence of their relationship. I yearned for something similar of my own, but squashed the fantasy down tight beneath the lid of reality topping my life.

My purpose for living might not realize all I did for her, but perhaps one day, before I turned gray and wrinkled, my sister would understand, perhaps even show a bit of appreciation for the sacrifices I made for her on a daily basis.

Lily moved behind her desk, a hiss escaping her lips as she slowly lowered herself onto her chair.

“Are you okay?” I asked, my brow furrowing.

“Yes.” A blush covered her face as she glanced at the papers I had laid out for her. “Oh!” She picked up the top one, scanning my cramped handwriting, her smile growing. “What a splendid idea!”

My concern for her welfare disappeared as I soaked in the praise that made my days worthwhile. I sat across from her, and we got down to business, my own excitement over the upcoming dinner keeping us busy for the next couple of hours.

Twice, Lily stood to move around the room, the second time, her wince caught my eye and brought back the concern I’d had earlier.

“Lily?” I asked as she peered out the window toward the woods beyond. “Is everything alright? You seem as though you’re in pain.”

She glanced over her shoulder at me, bit her lip, and glanced at the closed door of her office. “I suppose I ought to tell you the truth.”

Alarm bells rang between my ears as she returned to her desk, and I swallowed against the dryness attacking my mouth while sitting straight in my chair. “About?” I pushed as she took her time sitting down once more, that wince letting me know something bad had happened.

“Adam and I…” She didn’t meet my gaze, but glanced around the room as though trying to find words. “We have a special relationship.”

“I know you do,” I said, my brow furrowing even deeper.

“He—I…” Lily blew a breath between her lips. “He spanks me,” she blurted.

My eyelids popped wide open. “What?”

“Spanks.” Her face reddened as she finally met my horrified gaze. “No!” She laughed, her nervous twitter confusing me even more. “He’s not abusive—well, some might consider what we do abuse—but it’s not, I assure you. I like it. His handprints on me, that is.”

“Oh,” I heard myself reply as a rush of breath escaped. The truth of what she was trying to tell me went off like a light in my brain, widening my eyes once more. “Oh!” I exclaimed, and she put her finger to her lips while letting out a soft laugh.

“Shh. Please. I-I know it’s not normal, and that my Sir might not appreciate my telling you, but I don’t want you worrying about me. Coming to the wrong conclusions—that sort of thing.”

Intrigued by thoughts of what went on behind their bedroom door dried my mouth once more. I imagined a heavy hand on my backside, only to be soothed by the loving touch Lily’s husband showered on her whenever close by.

That damn jealousy slithered through my gut once more, along with another rush of tingles through my entire body.

“Sometimes, I need a release from the cares and details of life,” Lily said, her gaze flitting away once more. “Adam gives that to me. Submitting myself to him always aligns everything that veers of track.” She focused on my face. “Do you know anything about the lifestyle?”

I stared at her, mouth open like a guppy. “N-no,” I sputtered. “Well, not beyond the trailers for those movies that released a few years back.”

Lily snorted, her lip curling. “Not a true representation of a D/s relationship, of that I can assure you.”

“D/s?”

“Dominant/submissive.”

“Oh,” I murmured again, wondering what all I had missed out on while playing mommy and daddy to my younger sibling. The trailers had intrigued me, but I’d never made time for myself.

“If you’re interested, I’ll tell you a couple of titles of eBooks that will show you a bit about the lifestyle we live.”

I found myself nodding, even though I didn’t own an e-reader. Unable to afford such frivolous things, I’d made myself content with a weekly trip to the library for a box of books.

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