Page 61 of Crazy in Love

Rubbing my forehead, I turn to Hayley. “I don’t want to fight. I don’t have the energy to fight-”

“Because-”

“Stop. Just stop, please.” I glance over at Anika sliding the glass of water over to me. They know it’s getting too much because she has not stopped with the insults all night, and I just want her to go to sleep, and that’s what Anika has done. Sleeping tablets in the water. I only ever do this when I just can’t do it anymore, and my body and mind can’t cope. The doctor gave me some strong ones for her, so I’m hoping it won’t take long to kick in. “Mum, have some water, and then we'll talk.” I give her the glass, and she insults me once more, before drinking it.

I turn back to face Aiden and give him a weak smile. “You sure you don’t want to run? I mean, my family is crazy,” I ask him, and he starts laughing, shaking his head at me.

“I’m sure mine isn’t that far off.” He looks at Lee, who is also laughing. “We are both in a serious relationship, which our mother is going to hate when she finds out, then you will see what crazy looks like.” Aiden gives my hand a kiss, and Zhi laughs.

“Can’t wait to tell her that you’ve been dating a call girl and got her pregnant. Now that is going to be fun to watch.” I start laughing, moving away from Aiden to sit by Anika and Jason.

“This dinner is-”

“Nothing like anything we’ve ever had,” Jason cuts Anika off, and we all start laughing.

“One of us has to learn to cook, to cook like this,” I tell them, because I’m sure not one of any of us have ever cooked a full meal. I glance over at Aiden watching me, but he’s talking to Lee and Zhi.

“Saylor, I don’t think you have to worry about Aiden leaving you.” Jason takes my hand, and I lift the side of my lip into a half smile, looking at them both as Hayley leaves the table.

I hear Anika tell Aiden to leave her alone, which is a good thing because the sleeping tablets are working, and if anyone talks to her now, I’m not sure the words that come out of her mouth will go bad or worse for the night. So it’s best we all leave her alone at this point, and let her sleep.

“We’ve got her tonight.”

“She can stay here. She’s asleep, and I would like you to stay too.” I look over at Aiden, then turn to my sister and just watch her for a moment.

How simple my life would have been if, one, my mother never walked out on us, two, my dad was still alive, and three, my sister didn’t share her head with five other people. I would have a normal relationship. I wouldn’t have to think about what I wanted to do with Aiden or this baby.

I turn to face my friends again and wipe the tear drop from my cheek.

“What if my baby is like Hayley?” I whisper so Aiden can’t hear what I’m thinking. I can’t believe I’m thinking it.

“Saylor…” Anika takes my hand in hers and shakes my head. I can't believe I’m thinking like this. “The chances of that are so slim.”

“Anika, I can’t do it. My head hurts every day, each day I wake up knowing something is going to fuck it up. Hayley and-”

“Saylor, look at me.” I look at Anika, and she glances over to the side towards where Aiden is sitting. “That man loves you, he messed up, but what man doesn’t? He will never make that mistake again, and no matter what you decide about keeping or not keeping this baby, he will stand next to you and show you off to the world.”

I rub my head again, feeling the pain hitting the back of my eyes.

I walk away from the table over to my sister and place a blanket over her.

I look down at her, and press my lips together, and the moment I feel Aiden’s arms around my waist, I lean back and relax into him.

“I can’t help, if you don’t talk to me.” I turn around to face him, take a quick peek over his shoulder at everyone clearing the table. “Saylor, I love you, and I’m here no matter what, but are you here? Do you want this?”

Now that’s a question I should be answering not just for him, but for myself.

“Do you want this baby?” It’s the only thing I can ask him, because my head is all over the place, and I have no idea what the fuck I want anymore.

“I want you to be the fun, not scared of anything girl I first met and fell in love with. I want you to reach for the goals in life you had. I want you to walk into a room, and before you say anything to me, I want you to check me out like you did before, and then smile. I want you to smile, I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy.” He leans down and plants a kiss on my lips, then wipes the tear away from my cheek. “I know the last month has been one fucked month, and I would do anything to take that pain away from you. But I promise that you won’t suffer any more pain. I will protect you from it all. I will do anything for you, Saylor, to stand in front of me again.”

Now the tears are non-stop, because this man is ready to do everything under the sun to make me happy, and even after dinner tonight with Hayley, he still wants me to be with him.

“I have missed checking you out,” I say through sobs, and hear him laughing.

“I haven’t stopped checking you out.” I hear him say, as he pulls me closer to him.

“Do I pass?” I ask.

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