Page 442 of Hell Hath No Fury
“It’s where my family is from, and where I was raised all my life.”
“If your people are there, why are you on the road?” Cutter asked.
“You ask a lot of questions, don’t you?”
“Sorry, man. Don’t mean to pry, but like I said, I’m looking for members and you seem like a stand-up guy.”
“I get it. Good people seem harder and harder to come by these days.” I said.
“You headed back to Savannah now?”
“Supposed to be,” I replied. As if on cue, Mr. Bird shouted, “Mr. Hill!” and I turned around to give him one final profanity-laden send off when I saw the most gorgeous creature, I’d seen in my whole entire life walking up the jail house steps.
She was blonde with pinup curves and was dressed like something out of a fashion magazine. She looked like a goddamned movie star and I was in love with her from themoment I first saw her. I walked away from both the Burning Saints and Mr. Bird, without so much as a word, directly toward the goddess who was currently ascending toward the building’s entrance. She was holding a stack of file folders and looked focused as she quickly made her way up the stairs.
“Excuse me, miss,” I said, gently stepping in front of the bombshell beauty. She slipped me like Joe Frazier and continued her strident path upward. I remember having the distinct feeling that if she could have walked directly through me, she would have.
I followed right behind and tried again, “Excuse me, miss. I really don’t mean to be a bother, but—”
“Too late,” she replied without looking at me or breaking stride.
“I don’t want you to think I’m some sort of creep or something—”
“Way too late,” she said, this time pouring on her perfect Georgia drawl.
“It’s just that you look like you work here and I’m trying to find out where I need to go in order to collect my two hundred dollars.”
Finally, the angel stopped, slowly turned, looked directly at me and asked, “Was that a Monopoly joke?”
“Yes, it was,” I said with a smile, hoping my witty charm would gain the affection of this enchantress.
“My boss is waiting for these files and I’m technically off the clock. Despite leaving a date in order to bring these documents to him, I know he’ll still find a reason to be angry with me once I step foot in his office. So, although I have absolutely no interest in talking with you, I also really don’t want to go inside that building either. So, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to use the next minute of my time explaining something to you to serve as my own personal stall tactic.”
She was dressing me down with just the perfect amount of southern charm and I wanted more. In fact, I wanted this woman to boss me around for the rest of my natural days on earth. For some reason I almost felt like she had the right to, as if we somehow already knew each other, perfectly.
As she continued, I tried my hardest to study every detail about her. If I somehow failed to win this woman’s heart, I wanted to remember everything. If for no other reason than to have a standard of perfection to measure all other women by.
“Your attempt at a Monopoly joke, while well appreciated, was a failure in two ways.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I have older brothers and happen to be an expert at Monopoly, so I was going to point out where your joke went sideways.”
The courthouse is just next door. I wonder if it’s too early to ask this woman to marry me. That would be tricky since I don’t even know her name.
“Excuse me ma’am but could I be so bold as to ask you for your name?”
She sighed before saying, “It’s Grace.”
“No, it’s not,” I said, shaking my head.
“Excuse me?” Not Grace replied.
“Please don’t get me wrong ma’am, Grace is a perfectly fine name and all. Quite beautiful really, but not nearly beautiful enough to describe such a treasure as yourself.”
Not Grace scowled. “I’m atreasure?”
“Indeed, you are. Something rare and beautiful,” I said, turning up all the southern charm I could muster.
