Page 443 of Hell Hath No Fury
“I suppose next you’ll tell me that I’m a diamond?”
“No ma’am,” I stated flatly.
“Oh? Aren’t diamonds the most valuable?”
“A diamond is a lump of coal formed from pressure and time, and that’s not you at all, is it? No, you are a new treasure. A young beauty formed from grit and finesse. You, my darling are a Pearl.”
I backed up a half step and extended my hand, which, to my surprise, she took.
“Pleased to meet you Pearl, my name’s Duke. Please continue,” I said with a slight bow, before reluctantly releasing her hand from mine.
“As…as… I was saying, your Monopoly joke was all wrong,” Pearl continued, clearly a little off guard.
“How’s that?” I asked.
“First of all, you don’t collect two hundred dollars when you get out of jail. You get it when you pass GO. Secondly, making a pass at a woman by admitting you just got out of jail might not be the best way to start.”
“How am I doing now?” I asked.
“Lookinglike you just got out of jail is strike two.”
“We’re playing by baseball rules, huh? Good. That means I have one last chance before I strike out.”
“I’m afraid being in a motorcycle gang is strike three, Easy Rider.”
“Okay, now it’s time for me to hip you to a couple of things,” I said. “The guys in Easy Rider weren’t in a biker gang and neither am I.”
“Who are those guys over there, then? Your sewing circle?” Pearl pointed to the Burning Saints, all of whom had taken interest in our conversation. Mr. Bird stood with the passenger door of his Lincoln swung wide open as if there was any way in hell I was going with him. I didn’t blame him for fearing my father’s wrath by going home empty handed and bloodless.
“I met those guys while temporarily incarcerated due to a police error.”
“A police error?” Pearl asked.
“Yes ma’am. But the sheriff has apologized and I’m free to go about my evening, which I was hoping you would join me in enjoying.”
“The sheriff apologized?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“To you?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“SheriffEarly?”
“Indeed.”
“SheriffDonEarly?”
I nodded. “The one and the same.”
“Okay, now I know you’re full of malarkey.”
“Malarkey?” I asked, unable to stifle a laugh. “Miss Pearl, I’m sure you are one-hundred percent correct in your assessment of my appearance. But I assure you, the sheriff and I parted ways on the best of terms.”
Pearl stared at me, clearly unconvinced.
I continued. “It’s actually quite a funny story. I’d love to tell you all about it tonight.”
