Page 9 of Waiting for Her

She doesn’t think I notice the way she eyes me when I’m not looking or the way her eyes track over every inch of my body when I come into a room in nothing but a pair of sweatpants. I constantly have to fight back the urge to kiss her when she traps that bottom lip between her teeth, causing every ounce of my self-control to be tested.

When I moved in here, I knew the close proximity would test my patience and my resolve to let her set the pace, but I’m slowly dying being around her while simultaneously not being able to touch and kiss her the way I’ve dreamed about for years. I want to see the smile that used to be the highlight of my day. I want to hear that laugh, the one that fills the room and makes my chest ache with longing. But it’s been eerily silent these past few months, and I vowed when I moved in here that I would get my Addison back. No matter what.

I turn on my side, silently cursing this couch that is way too small for me, but I decline to sleep anywhere else. I refuse to let Addison sleep here, even though she’s insisted more than once over the last week that I do just that. But the dark circles under her eyes don’t go unnoticed and even though she has that king-size bed all to herself, she’s not getting much sleep.

Just as I close my eyes for the hundredth time this past hour, willing my body to sleep, I hear light footsteps pass behind the couch and the sound of the fridge opening and then closing. I barely move, not wanting to scare her and trying to wait until she walks past once more before I move. Yet when I don’t hear any of that, I peer over the back of the couch only to see Addison hunched over the kitchen table, head in her hands and her shoulders silently shaking.

Shit.

“Addi?” I whisper, taking tentative steps into the room as her eyes flick to mine. The sadness that’s washing off her is almost suffocating and my chest compresses. “You okay, baby?” I take the seat next to her, trying to ignore the fact that the endearment slipped out without a thought and hoping she doesn’t notice.

“It’s nothing,” she mutters, her eyes dipping down as she takes a deep breath and takes a bite out of the block of cheese I bought for her.

No knife, no plate, just her teeth biting through the whole thing. If she wasn’t crying, I would make fun of her, but right now, it’s endearing.

From experience, the shuddering breaths that are heaving out of her lungs right now tell me she’s trying her hardest to hold in her tears, and I will not stand for that. I throw every rule I set up for myself out the window as I pull her into a hug, needing her against me while also needing to protect her from whatever is causing her to break down.

“It’s not, nothing. You crying is never, nothing.”

She shrugs and I expect to be pushed away, yet her head sinks even farther into my chest as her breath cascades over my skin. My fingers flex as I cradle the sides of her face, bringing her eyes up to mine.

“Addison, what’s wrong?” My tone isn’t joking, it’s not teasing and it sure as hell isn’t a request. I can’t stand to see her upset and right now, this moment is killing me.

“It’s honestly so stupid,” she whispers before pushing herself out of my arms and taking the cheese and putting it back in the fridge. “You should go back to bed. I’m sorry I woke you.”

She’s being dismissive and pushing me away and maybe on any other night I might have let her, but the fear behind her eyes is glaring and I can sense her packing on more bricks to that wall she’s built up around herself, and I refuse to let that happen.

“Not happening. It’s my job to make sure you and the baby are okay.”

I don’t know why I expected her to smile after I said that comment but it doesn’t happen. Instead, she crosses her arms over her chest and scowls.

“Why?” she asks, leaning back against the counter as I get up out of my chair and make my way to where she’s standing.

“Why what?”

“Why am I your responsibility all of a sudden? Is it because you feel sorry for me? Is it because of the baby? Why now?”

I smirk, knowing this question has been a week in the making but hating the fact that this woman doesn’t trust men that aren’t her brother. She deserves everything and more, so instead of skirting past the question like I usually do, I decide to be honest.

“You were always my responsibility, Addison, you just didn’t know it.”

Her eyes narrow and her arms tighten over her chest, resting on that growing belly that seems to get bigger every second. The sass flies off her in waves and I bask in it. This is the Addison I know. This is the woman that doesn’t take shit from anyone and I’ve missed her. I missed her jokes, her attitude, and especially her contagious happiness.

“What are you talking about?”

I take a breath, trying to figure out how far I want this to go tonight. “I always cared for you, Addison, but now that you have a baby growing inside you, I promised myself that I would do whatever it took to make sure you’re happy.”

I don’t expect her to push off the counter and walk slowly toward me, I don’t expect to see the flare of arousal in her eyes the closer she gets to where I’m standing and I definitely don’t expect her fingers to grip the sides of my neck and pull me down, placing her lips on mine.

I growl, barely keeping my composure as her mouth touches mine in a lust-filled kiss that sends me reeling. I know after tonight, nothing will ever be the same, and I am fucking ecstatic. This is the sign I needed. I’ve waited for her to show me what she’s wanted, I’ve waited for her to let me know where she wanted to take this and now, with her tongue demanding entrance, I know exactly what she wants and I am more than willing to give her every inch of myself.

All too quick, Addison pulls away, her fingers tracing the outline of her swollen lips, the sight sending a shot of arousal straight to my cock.

“I’m sorry,” she panics, her voice shaky as she bolts from the room, regret clear in her retreat.

But there’s no way I’m letting her get away from me that fast, so I run after her, gripping her wrist and spinning her around before she even reaches the stairs. Her wide eyes meet mine as I cage her against the wall, her chest rising and falling with each deep breath.

There are so many words I need to say to the woman in front of me, years’ worth of love and devotion bottled up that need to be put out into the open. But right now, all I can do is take in her blonde hair with pink ends that seem more faded than they did a few weeks ago. Her crystal-blue eyes stare back at me as I try and find the words to express all the emotions rolling around inside my chest, but I come up empty. How do you tell the woman you’ve been obsessed with since you were a teenager that you’re in love with them and their unborn child?

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