Page 32 of Easy To Lose

I know this isn’t healthy. But right now, hearing his voice both soothes and burns me at the same time. Once the message is over again, I look at his texts, all of them begging me to answer him. As my fingers hover over the keys, I wonder what I’d say. He wants to know if I’m okay, and right now, I don’t know the answer to that. I don’t know where to go from here. Eventually, I have to get back to reality, and unfortunately, that means running Head Over Heels, which happens to be located right next to his gym. The irony isn’t lost on me.

“What are you still doing up?” Simon says, coming down the stairs and heading into the kitchen. I watch as he takes a glass out of the cupboard and fills it with water then leans back against the counter as his eyes watch me over the rim of the glass. I shrug my shoulders and grip my phone in my hands like it’s my lifeline. “You still haven’t talked to him?” My eyes question him because I know Charly told him everything, I just never expected him to confront me about it.

“What would I say?” I admit, needing some kind of guidance at this point because hiding out a few states away won’t make sense forever.

“Does it matter? I bet he just wants to hear your voice.” Simon comes into the living room and sits on the couch next to me. “Coming from someone who knows what it’s like to lose something they love, that’s all he wants right now.” I nod, knowing he’s talking about when he and Charly were separated, but this is different. “What are you so scared of?” he asks bluntly, and it catches me off guard. As much as I’ve analyzed the situation, that question has never come up.

“I don’t know,” I admit, but he shakes his head.

“Nope. You know the answer. What are you scared of?” God, no wonder he does this for a living. He’s good.

“I guess I’m scared of knowing the truth.” He nods, motioning for me to continue. “When Aaron left, I knew what he did. And if I’m honest with myself, I never loved him the way a fiancée should. But this time is different…”

“Because you love Owen more than you loved Aaron?” I nod, smiling because Charly said the exact same thing. “You know love isn’t something to be scared of. Sure, it can be scary sometimes, but it can also be fulfilling and a feeling unlike anything else on this Earth.”

“Being loved by Owen isn’t the scary part. I’ve dreamt about that since I was sixteen. It’s…”

“It’s the fact that he broke your heart when you thought he was the one person you didn’t think would.” I nod because he gets it. That’s exactly what’s coursing through me right now. I know deep down that Owen didn’t sleep with Bailey, but he did ignore me and shut me out, and that’s something I’m having a hard time getting over. Before I can stop them, the tears start to form and fall freely down my cheeks. Just as Simon gets up to make his way over to me, Charly comes into the room and wraps her arms around me.

“You should talk to him,” Simon says, touching his hand to my shoulder. “Even if it ends, at least you’ll know.” I take a shaky breath before I nod, watching as Simon gives Charly a light kiss before heading back upstairs, leaving us alone.

“You want a drink?” Charly whispers in my ear, and I laugh as I shake my head. As much as I would love to drown my sorrows in a bottle of wine, I know I need to face this. “How about some retail therapy? I happen to know a good place to shop.” She gives me a wink, and I look into her eyes and thank God that I have someone in my life who cares about me enough to stay up past midnight and hold me while I cry, then take me shopping because she knows I need a distraction. It doesn’t hurt that she looks at me like I’m the only important thing in her life—at least in this moment.

“I think it’s a bit late for retail therapy,” I tease, looking at the clock on the stove to see that it’s after one in the morning.

“Well, I do own the place. So, technically if you wanted to, we could go shopping…” We both laugh, knowing that the idea is absurd.

“I think I can wait until tomorrow.” She nods and holds my face between her palms, wiping away the stray tears.

“You okay for now?” I smile, loving that she added the for now because it’s true. Right now, I’m okay. But in five minutes, that could change. I love her for acknowledging it.

“Right now, I’m good. Thanks.” She smiles, wrapping me in her arms and hugging me way too tightly.

“I love you forever. No matter what happens.” I hug her tighter as the warm feeling of her embrace cascades over my entire body until I feel my eyes grow heavy. I know I need to head to bed.

Tomorrow is a new day. The day I face the reality I’ve been hiding from, the one that could break me in two if I let it. But I refuse to let that happen. No matter what.

Chapter 27

Owen

She’s been gone for two days. The amount of times I’ve bothered not only Morgan’s parents but also Becca at the store is becoming a problem. I know I fucked up. I know I need to grovel for the rest of my life because the idea of losing her when I just finally found her again is tearing me to pieces.

I’ve been lying in this bed, wondering what my next move will be for hours, when my phone goes off on the bedside table. When I pick it up, I see that it’s after one in the morning and I question who the fuck would be calling me at this hour. The phone number isn’t one I recognize, so when I pick it up, I’m surprised to discover who it is.

“You need to come get your girl.” The British accent rings through my ears, and I wrack my brain trying to figure out who it is.

“Excuse me?” I ask, the weight of the last few days falling over me once again.

“Owen, it’s been two days. As much as I understand her needing space, I need you to come and get her. You need to make a move here, because she won’t. And I can’t say I blame her after what you did.” It finally clicks who the voice belongs to: Charly’s husband. This must be who handed me that Polaroid outside her house the night of the party.

“Where is she?” I ask, having a feeling I know but needing confirmation.

“New Orleans.” I close my eyes, feeling relief wash over me. I know where she is. I can find her. “She’s staying at our house. And as much as I love that girl, I miss my alone time with my wife.”

“I’ve been trying to find her since that night. No one will tell me anything,” I admit, getting up from bed and heading over to where my laptop is plugged into the wall. I open it, pulling up a browser to look for flights to New Orleans.

“Do you blame them?” I sigh, knowing I have a lot of groveling ahead of me.

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