Page 31 of Easy To Lose

“Thanks for letting me stay here for a few days,” I mumble into the teacup that Charly just placed in my hand. Convincing her to let me accompany her back to New Orleans wasn’t hard. Convincing her to do it last night when my emotions were at their peak? That was another story. She thought I was overreacting. I told her I needed breathing room from Owen and everything that reminded me of him.

“You can come and visit anytime. But you know this won’t solve anything.” She takes a sip from her own mug, smirking over the rim. I nod my head because it’s true. I’m only delaying the inevitable.

“I just needed some time away,” I say, leaning back and looking around, remembering the surprise on my face when we pulled up to her house and I saw that it was yellow. That was something I didn’t expect. I think it’s cute, Charly said. I agree, it is cute, along with her décor, which displays her personality to a T. “Do you spend any time here at all?” I ask, knowing that she bounces between New Orleans and London. “I know your love will always be your store.” She nods, taking a sip of her tea and grimacing for the fourth time.

“God, I miss coffee.” A laugh bubbles out of me as I sit up and she places the still full mug on the table beside her.

“If you hate it so much, why do you drink it?” I ask, loving the small blush that forms on her cheeks.

“I will always love coffee over everything, that’s a given. But Simon loves his cuppa, and when we’re in London, it’s a common thing to have tea several times a day, so I’m trying to like it.”

“And I’m guessing it’s not going well?” She shakes her head as I breathe in the scent of the Earl Grey that’s warming my hands.

“I’ve tried almost every kind on the planet, and I still can’t stand to take more than a few sips.” She starts laughing as I set my cup down. She takes my hand in hers. “Are you okay?”

How do I answer that? Right now, I feel all right, but it hits me in waves. I could be sitting just like this and then, all of sudden, I’ll remember what happened yesterday and how Bailey’s voice sounded on the phone, and everything comes crashing back to reality.

“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “It was like deja vu all over again, and yet it hurt more this time.”

“Of course, it did,” Charly says, crossing her legs and twisting her body to face mine on the couch. “You love Owen more than you loved Aaron.” I avert my eyes because admitting that I actually loved Owen after what happened almost seems wrong.

“He told me he loved me last night,” I admit for the first time out loud. Charly’s eyes bulge, and her mouth opens in surprise.

“Okay, that changes everything!” I look at her dumbfounded because it doesn’t make a lick of difference. Actually, it kind of makes it worse. “Morgan, he wouldn’t have told you he loved you if he was sleeping around.” The thought had crossed my mind, but last night I was so caught up in old feelings and desperations that I just needed to leave. Now, I’m wondering if I should have stayed and talked to him.

“You think I should have stayed.” She tilts her head to the side, and I roll my eyes. “So, you think that he did nothing wrong?” My defenses are going up, and Charly can sense it, so she moves a bit closer and places her hands on my knees.

“I think you should have talked to him. I know what he did was wrong, and honestly, someone like Owen would never do something like that unless there was a reason.” I take a deep breath as she continues. “You have every right to be upset and hurt right now, but don’t throw everything away because of this. Talk it out. See what he says and then take it from there.”

If only it were that easy.

* * *

“I thought we were going to Head Over Heels?” I ask, walking down a road that is so packed, I wonder if it’s a state holiday I didn’t know about or something. I have been asking all morning to go and see Charly’s store. I haven’t had the chance to see it yet, and honestly, I’m kind of nervous to see what she loves compared to what I do. I know she tells me all the time that she loves the Miami store, and I do too, it’s my baby. But seeing her vision is something completely different.

“We are. I just want to get something to eat first.” Charly winks as we continue walking. I love the atmosphere and basking in the sun. I pray that the humidity stays away, but I know that is a futile wish.

“Eat? We just had breakfast?” This girl makes no sense sometimes. She gives me a look and takes my hand, walking faster toward a place called Cafe Du Monde. The green and white awning catches my eye, and so does the line that seems to go on forever. “We’re seriously going to stand in that line?” I mutter. I’m not really in the mood, even if the food is orgasmic as she put it.

“Trust me. It’s worth it.” My side-eye is strong as we stand at the back of the line. I can feel the rising heat beating down on the back of my neck. “Have you ever had beignets before?” I shake my head and wonder if that’s what all these people are here for. Charly smirks and links her arm with mine. “You are going to wish I never took you here. Because from today on, you will only want these for all meals.” I roll my eyes, not really understanding why she’s so hung up on doughnuts, but I’ll give it a shot.

We finally get our baskets of fried dough covered in powdered sugar and for a split second, my eyes scan the crowd for someone watching me eat. I shake that feeling away, knowing that no one gives a shit what I put in my mouth. Speaking of, the moment that pastry hits my tongue, I know I will never be the same, and everything Charly said was true.

“Ermagaw,” I exclaim around a mouthful of Heaven. “How do you not live here?” She laughs, taking another huge bite and wiping off the excess sugar from around her mouth.

“Trust me, I actively stop myself from coming here daily.” I burst out laughing as we start walking, and I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket. When I take it out and see it’s Owen, I hit ignore and put the phone back where it belongs.

“Still ignoring him?” Charly asks, avoiding my eyes as I sigh loudly, throwing away my empty basket and wiping my hands, not wanting to get powdered sugar on my clothes.

“I’m not ready to talk to him yet.” I can see her trying to say something, but I stop her before she can get it out. “Before you say that I need to buck up and do it, I know. I just need to get my bearings first. So, spare me the lecture, okay?” She holds up her hands in mock surrender, and we continue on our way to Head Over Heels in silence.

A vibration letting me know that a voicemail has come through burns a hole in my back pocket, and I fight hard to keep my hands from grabbing it and listening to what he has to say.

Chapter 26

Morgan

“M, baby I’m so sorry. I never meant to leave you like that, I never meant to miss your birthday. I fucked up. I know that, but please let me explain. You don’t ever have to forgive me, just please let me hear your voice. Please let me know you’re okay.” There’s a second of silence before he whispers, “I love you. Remember that. I love you so fucking much.” And then the line goes dead. I save the message for the fifth time and hit the icon that lets me listen to it again.

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