Page 30 of Easy To Lose

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I’m standing on Morgan’s front porch, hoping to God she answers because I’ve tried to call her a million times, and every time, it goes straight to voicemail.

Karma’s a bitch, I guess.

“Come on, Morgan, open the door,” I mutter as I continue to knock and ring the doorbell.

“She’s not here,” a guy says from behind me as I turn and see a man that looks familiar, but I can’t place him. I know I’ve heard that British accent before, though.

“What do you mean, she’s not here? Where is she?” I ask, a sense of panic settling into the pit of my stomach.

The man shakes his head and steps forward, handing me a Polaroid.

“That’s not for me to say,” he says, walking back to his car. When he drives away, my eyes move down to take in the photo he just handed me. When I see the picture of Charly with Morgan, a cake in front of them, that’s the moment my whole world comes crashing down.

Tonight was Morgan’s birthday party.

I missed it.

Just like Aaron.

Chapter 25

Morgan

I’m sitting in my room, and Charly and Simon are still downstairs, waiting. I don’t know what they’re waiting for exactly…me to feel better? Me to let them know that it’s okay to come in since I’m not bursting into tears anymore? None of that is bound to happen in the next few minutes, so I pull out my phone and text Kennedy, a little wary of calling my therapist at night, but knowing that she told me it was okay.

Me: Can I call you? Really need to talk.

What else do I say without spilling the whole story? And, honestly, I’m in no mood to type that out.

Instead of answering my text, my phone vibrates, and her picture shows up, letting me know she’s calling. When I answer, I spill everything. What happened with Owen last night, waking up alone and him ghosting me the entire day. I end on the bit about hearing the girl on his phone. That’s when she takes a deep breath.

“Morgan, those panicked feelings are natural. Any woman who hears another woman’s voice on her boyfriend’s phone is going to freak out.” I go to say something, but she continues. “But from what we’ve talked about regarding Owen and your relationship, I need to ask if you actually think he would cheat on you.”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think so,” I say honestly, feeling the tears forming once again. I lean my head back against the headboard, wondering how this went to complete shit so fast.

“Nope, that’s not an answer. You know in your heart what the answer is.” I exhale, hating that she’s right.

“Even if I know he wouldn’t cheat, why do I still feel like my h-heart was r-ripped right out of my c-chest?” I stutter with my sobs. My heart rate rises, my hands start to shake, and my breathing becomes shallow.

“Morgan, I need you to breathe for me, okay? In through the mouth, out through the nose, remember?” I nod my head, not even thinking about the fact that she can’t see me as I take gulping breaths, trying to get my panic attack to cease. When it tempers, Kennedy is still on the line.

“All of the feelings you have inside of you are valid. Every single one is true and needs to be addressed. But you need to clear your head first. You need to get away from the thoughts that are screaming at you.”

“How do I do that?” I whisper, finally feeling my breaths come more evenly as I close my eyes.

“Get away for a few days. Try and be with people who care about you but have no association with Owen. And, most importantly, talk. Talk to someone besides me. Someone that knows you and cares about you no matter what. Remember, those are the people that will lift you up in times of crisis.”

“Do you think I’m overreacting?” I’ve had that thought ever since I hung up the phone on who I assume was Bailey, even though I don’t know for sure. “What if this is just me projecting what happened last year onto Owen?”

“It’s a valid point, and one I think you should think about. But I want to reiterate that you do need to talk to Owen, as well. Just talking to your friends and family won’t fix this. Me telling you to clear your head is a way for you to talk to Owen with an open mind, ready to hear what he has to say. And from what you’re telling me right now, you’re not there yet. So, take some time, evaluate everything that happened, and then hear him out.”

She’s right.

And I know just the place to do that.

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