Page 83 of Samuel
She placed a palm against her throat and as she swallowed, all I could think of was her swallowing my cum after giving me a blow job. Okay, it wasn’t the most appropriate moment, but it was getting that I was becoming more and more obsessed with her and the thought of us having a relationship; not to mention the idea of taking that perfect pussy of hers again.
“Then what is it, Maisie?”
I leaned closer and took the hand that was placed on her throat and pulled her to me so that we were inches apart.
“You know what I want, I haven’t hidden it from you. You have absolutely nothing to be scared of because I know exactly what’s at stake if I cock anything up. I know I have this one chance with Frankie and maybe I have no chance with you, but I need you to know I’m willing to work so fucking hard to make you understand how much I want it all – I want to be a damn good dad to Frankie, the best I can be, but I want you too. I don’t want you just to make it easier for me to be Frankie’s father, I want you because I care about you. You’re amazing. You’re strong and brave, you’re a brilliant mother and you don’t need anyone. Everything about you makes me feel like an inadequate dick, that I don’t deserve someone like you, but you also make me want to change. I want to deserve you because I fucking want you so badly I feel like I’m turning into an addict.”
Maisie’s mouth dropped open in shock and my own almost mimicked hers, because I hadn’t realised that was how I was feeling, but I was. I knew she was all the things I’d said, but I hadn’t realised how fucking much I loved those things; not until the words were spewing from my mouth and my heart was beating hard in agreement. I really wanted her and if I was truthful it was her beauty that had started the desire, the sex that had created the need and the way her body reacted to mine that had built the want; all of that plus her strength and determination had got me hooked to the point where the necessity for a daily fix had crept up on me.
“And if you change your mind?” she asked, her voice tiny and quiet. “What then?”
“I can’t tell you the future Maisie, because I don’t have a crystal ball. I have no way of knowing what might happen between us, but what I do know is at this moment I know I want us and I want the opportunity to make us into something that could last a lifetime. I’m not going to promise you things that neither of us can be sure of, all I can promise you is I’ll do my fucking best to be the best partner that I can be. Me being a good dad isn’t dependent on that, so if we don’t work out then we find a way to make the situation work. If that means Frankie has two parents that love him but aren’t together, then that’s what will happen. Plenty of families in the same situation make it work. If it does go that way then our son will cope because he’s an amazing, clever kid who is so much like his mum there’s no chance he won’t be able to deal.”
Pulling her even closer to me, I dropped a soft kiss on her lips, breathing her in at the same time and relishing in the smell of the delicate, fresh perfume that she always wore.
“So, do you want me to take you back?” I asked, my eyes begging her to say no.
She watched me carefully and then after a few seconds, hesitantly shook her head.
“No,” she whispered. “Let’s go and have a picnic.”
I kissed her once more and then started the engine and drove away.
Maisie
the present
The afternoon sun cast long shadows over the ground, and created sparkles of light which skimmed across the lake. The trees around the edge reflected back into the water as a few ducks swam along, diving intermittently for food. It was beautiful, like a scene from a nature book, and I couldn’t help but pull out my phone and snap a picture.
“This place is gorgeous,” I called over my shoulder to Sam. “I had no idea it was even here.”
“I only know about it because a guy I know works for the RSPB and often releases ducks here if they’ve been injured and taken into the rescue centre where he’s based. You’re not even allowed to fish here and you can’t get all the way around, so no one comes here with dogs or to go walking.”
I looked around the space and could see that to the right was a picnic table and a small grassy bank, but beyond that were dense trees and bushes. The other side was pretty much the same, except there was no picnic table but a slightly overgrown forest path.
“I wonder where that leads to.”
Sam shrugged. “No idea, but we can check it out after lunch.”
I looked down at the rolled blanket under his arm and the cool box and large shopping bag that he’d carried from the car where we parked in a layby about a quarter of a mile down the road. That was how secluded the place was, you couldn’t even park close by.
“I could have carried some of that.” I held out a hand to take one of the bags, but Sam shook his head.
“Nope, you’re relaxing today and I can manage, they’re not heavy.”
I followed him to the grassy bank and waited while he put the bags down and spread out the blanket.
“I’m not sure how clean that table is,” Sam said as he took out all the food. “And it looks like it might collapse under the weight of a sandwich.”
I had to agree, it was a bit rickety and covered in all kinds of mess and green moss.
“No, you’re right. I think we’re better sticking to a blanket that we know where it’s been. You do know, don’t you?”
Sam grinned at me. “Yes, I only bought it this morning, so it’s perfectly clean.”
“It’s not one you have in the back of your car then, you know, just in case you break down when you’re giving a girlfriend a lift home.”
I was smiling because it was a joke, but Sam’s expression was dead-pan.
