Page 24 of The Love Dealer

We drove a few miles more before I asked, “When was the last time you went to the casino?”

He grinned instantly. For his eighteenth birthday, he convinced his mom to let us use one of her free nights at a casino in Tunica. We never made it down to the actual casino, but we had sex like crazy in our room… and the shower.

“It’s been a few months. You wanna go?”

“Can we?”

“The world is yours, Bre. I’m just here to give you whatever you want.”

* * *

I didn’t wantto leave. Like… at all. My plan was to leave Monday morning, but I couldn’t. I ended up spending the day at Shelby Farms, thinking about my options until my parents got off work. We went bowling with Katrina, then had family dinner. Now, I was back with Zo. We hadn’t talked a lot, and I was okay with that. My mind was talking enough for thebothof us.

While I laid in the center of the king-sized bed, Zo was seated on the burgundy leather sofa right in front of the TV. I was aimlessly scrolling on social media, waiting for Nick to send me a video of Trin. I’d talked to her like three times already, but I still wanted to see her face again before I called it a night.

When what Zo was watching went to commercial, he came and got in bed with me. As soon as I felt his arm wrap around me, my body softened.

“You good?”

“Yes, you?”

“No. I’ma miss you.”

I smiled. “I’m going to miss you, too.”

“I meant what I said, Bre. Don’t consider me when making your plans. If this is closure for us, it’s the closure we deserved years ago. If we’re meant to be together, we will find each other again. I want you to do what’s best for you, bae. Aight?”

Turning in his arms, I looked into his eyes. “Everyone’s talking about a soft life, and mine has been hard for this past year. But I realize that was for a reason. Struggling the way I have has made me appreciate the life I had here so much more. I’m so blessed to have the family and friends I have, and you’re the cherry on my sundae. I was so caught up in our history, I was too scared to be near you or even give us a second chance.”

“And now?”

“I can’t see myself with any man that isn’t you. But… I think I need a little time to get myself together first. I don’t want to jump from one extreme to the next, you know?”

“I feel you, and I’m good with that. You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted. That’s not going to change.”

“What did Reka do wrong? I don’t want to lose you when we get back together.”

He smiled. “Trust me, you don’t have to worry about that. I didn’t love Reka or anyone else, but I’m in love with you.”

“Still…”

“I love being a provider, but I didn’t have a partner to assist. I get pride from taking care of my family, but I had to take care of everything else, too. I work overnight at the factory and my mornings and afternoons are spent taking care of my business. I get a limited amount of free time throughout the week, and I try to make it count. When I would get home, all I would want to do was relax and spend time with them before taking a nap and getting ready to go to the warehouse. But with Reka, I would have to cook and clean with the kids and take care of the bills and errands while she didn’t do much of anything. That shit was taxing, and it made me feel like she was with me for my hand, not my heart. We never would have grown in love like that. I want a relationship of reciprocity, and I know I can get that with you.”

“That makes sense. Nick was the household provider, too, and I took care of everything. Because he worked, I never felt comfortable asking for his help with anything. I felt like I needed to handle everything since he paid the bills, but adding a baby to the mix was just too overwhelming.”

“Did he ever offer to hire help with Trinity or the house?”

My head shook. “No, he didn’t want to spend money on a housekeeper or chef, and we agreed Trinity wouldn’t go to daycare until she could talk. If we come back to Memphis, though, she’s going to daycare when she turns one. I trust my aunt. She keeps all the babies in our family at her daycare.”

“I offered both to Reka, but she said she didn’t want another bitch in the house.” He chuckled and it made me smile. “I think she said that because she knew that was something I really wanted, and she didn’t want anyone else responsible for giving it to me.”

“I can understand that. The last thing a woman wants to think about is a young, beautiful woman in a French maid uniform around her man, but when you need the help, that’s the last thing on your mind. I didn’t give a damn who the woman was, I just wanted help.”

“Well, you’ll have it here, no doubt. I’m happy you’ll finally get what you need.”

“Me too,” I agreed, scooting a little closer to him. “Baby…”

“I love you too.”

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