Page 1 of The Love Dealer

one

Sabrina “Bre” Simmons

He didn’t even askme how my day was.

That wasn’t anything new.

This was our routine.

I would spend all day at home with our nine-month-old daughter, Trinity, while Nick worked. He would come home, play with Trinity for a little while, then head out for the evening. Every day, I’d listen intently as he told me about his day… yet Nick never asked me about mine. Hell, he didn’t even ask me how I was. If I’d slept well. If I needed anything. Nothing.

I wish I could say Nick’s lack of thoughtfulness was our only problem, but it wasn’t, and that’s why we weren’t technically in a relationship anymore. When Nick and I first met, everything was good. He was active and present, thoughtful and considerate, but eventually… a lack of interest led to a lack of effort.

Ironically, the day after Nick and I broke up, I found out I was pregnant. For some reason, the excitement of us soon having our first child made us blind to the fact that we weren’t compatible. We got back together, and things were pretty good while I was pregnant.

Nick ended up getting an offer for a raise in his position if he moved to Dallas, and he took it. I tried to convince him we could co-parent in different states since Memphis was only six hours away, but he wanted to be with our daughter daily, and I couldn’t help but respect and appreciate that. To me, having an active father in my daughter’s life was a blessing that not every woman was able to get—so I moved to Dallas with him—and that’s when shit hit the fan.

I gave birth to Trinity and immediately lost myself in being just her mother all day, every day. Nick had work and the opportunity to quickly make friends. Plus, his brother stayed in Dallas, too. I didn’t have anyone here, nor did I have the time to find friends or even have a personal life, for that matter. Being in this house all day, every day, was driving me insane, and every time he left for work or to hang with his brother or friends, I resented Nick even more.

A part of me felt like I’d moved here just to be a live-in mother to his child while he lived his best life, and it didn’t matter how many ways I tried to explain that to him, Nick acted like I was speaking another damn language. Tonight, I was at my wits end. Trinity had been fussy all day, and I needed a fucking break. But as always, her father didn’t give a damn about what I needed.

Was I passive? Maybe a little. It wasn’t intentional. My character positioned me to always check in with people, so I dealt with people who did the same. Nick wasn’t that kind of person, though. Not anymore. Because he didn’t ask me what I needed or how I was feeling, I assumed he didn’t care and didn’t waste my time telling him.

As soon as he came into my bedroom and placed Trinity on the bed, he told me, “I’m about to get ready to go.”

I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Does it ever occur to you that I might want to get out the house, too?” I asked, causing him to stop, turn, and look at me. “I need a break, Nick.”

“A break?” Nick chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest. “From being a mother?”

“Is that all I am to you?”

“I’m just trying to figure out what you need a break from.”

“This house. You. Our daughter. I need some time to myself.”

The amusement in his eyes only irritated me more. It didn’t help that Trinity was crawling on me in the process.

“Okay. Well, can you go out tomorrow? I made plans for tonight already.”

Releasing a low chuckle, I shook my head. I inhaled a deep breath and tried to maintain my composure. We agreed we wouldn’t yell and fight in front of our daughter, plus, if I did that, he would just shut down, anyway. That was one of the reasons I didn’t want to be with him before we found out about Trin. He never took what I said seriously, and it always felt like I was on his time. Was Nick a good father? Absolutely… when he was present. But he was a horrible boyfriend. I thought we would be able to fully distinguish the two, but somehow, we ended up hanging out and having sex, though we had separate rooms.

“You almost always have plans, Nick. And when you don’t, you want to do stuff with Trin as a family. I don’t mind, either, but I need a personal life, too. I’m sick of being in this damn house.”

“Fine. I’ll cancel my plans so you can go out. Where are you going to go, and who are you going to go with?”

“I don’t know where I’m going to go. Maybe to the mall and to grab some food. I don’t really know the city well. And of course, I’ll be by myself. I don’t know anyone here.”

“Well, that’s your fault. I tried to link you up with my niggas’ girlfriends, but you was acting funny.”

Rolling my eyes, I picked Trinity up and handed her to him.

“I wasn’t acting funny. We had nothing in common and they were talking about things and people I knew nothing about. The fuck did you want me to do? Just sit there quiet, looking crazy? Then they were going to say I was stuck up.”

“Aight.” Nick squeezed the back of his neck. “How about I go out tonight as planned and set something up for you tomorrow? I can get my brother to watch Trin. You’ll have the whole afternoon to yourself. Set up a spa day. When you’re done, we can try to find a party or just have dinner and spend some time together. Does that sound good?”

“I’m okay with that, but I still need to get out the house tonight. Can you just stay here for a couple of hours while I grab something to eat and a few drinks?”

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