Page 89 of The Confidant
“Seeing you spending so much time with Addison made me want to remember how things used to be with us.” She paused before adding in a softer voice, “Even though I know I probably shouldn’t.”
“You know Addison and I are just friends, right?” I asked, my throat feeling thick for some reason.
“You are?”
I knew it was stupid for my chest to fill with hope at the way she said that. But I was stupid, and I still wanted her to like me.
Wanted her to want me enough that she could stop caring about the things she thought should keep us apart and realize that those things didn’t actually matter.
“We’re just friends,” I clarified.
I wasn’t the type of person who could just get over someone.
I didn’t knowif I’d ever get over Scarlett.
Not when I didn’t actuallywantto get over her.
“Well, in case it seemed otherwise, Xander and I are only friends, too,” she said.
“That’s good to know.”
We were quiet for a moment, each lost in our thoughts. Then she said, “Xander mentioned something interesting to me today, though.”
“He did?” I asked, curious about what Xander may have said that she found interesting enough to bring up. “What did he say?”
“Well, it’s actually a little weird,” she started to say. “You see, I was looking at some of the old books that he had on his shelves when he was showing me around the dorms, and I saw one that looked interesting. It was old and maroon and didn’t have a title on the spine like the rest of the books.”
“I’ve seen a few books like that.”
She nodded. “Anyway, Xander said it was one of Samuel Williams’ journals.”
“It was?” I sat up straighter, suddenly more intrigued. Even though I had stepped away from the religion Samuel Williams had founded, I still found the enigmatic leader to be quite interesting—always wondering why he really did all the things that he did.
“I guess Xander is one of his descendants or something like that,” she said. “So his dad has quite a few of Samuel’s journals and things in his collection.”
“He’s related to Samuel Williams?”
“That’s what he said.” She paused and swallowed before adding, “Anyway, he told me that the journal mentioned his spiritual partnerships.” She glanced at me again. “Have you heard anything about those?”
“I’ve heard of them,” I said, wondering why in the world Xander was telling Scarlett about Samuel Williams’ spiritual partnerships since it was something the church didn’t want members talking about. It was one of the things they had tried to sweep under the rug and wanted to keep there.
But if Xander was talking to Scarlett about it, then it meant that Xander had been researching things, too.
Had he, like me, been trying to make sense of the disturbing things in The Fold’s history? And was he hoping Scarlett was a safe person to talk about it with since he’d probably heard about my family by now and knew Scarlett and I had been friends?
From my interactions online with other people who’d left The Fold, I’d learned that there were actually a lot of people who didn’t believe anymore but still attended church just because they didn’t want to disrupt their relationships or have a spouse file for divorce.
So maybe Xander was one of those people and was trying to spread the truth about the church’s history from the inside?
“How did you hear about the spiritual partnerships?” Scarlett asked. “Did someone tell you about them?”
“I read a lot about them the beginning of summer.”
“And you think they actually happened?”
I nodded. “I read tons of firsthand accounts of the women and the men who were involved in them.”
“Really?” she asked like she still didn’t believe they had actually been a thing.
