Page 86 of Hold

“He’s been teaching them how to fix up the house.”

“Giving Benji power tools? Giving Jake a job?”

“Jesus, Cat, he hasn’t given Benji anything of the kind. Now you’re just not listening.”

“’Cause you’re not saying anything! And what about Gabe? Does this other guy know about him?”

Thea couldn’t help the wince that went across her face, as usual, when she thought of Liam’s face that night.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Cat said. “And does Gabe know about him?”

“Yes! Yes, they know about each other. And Liam isn’t my boyfriend. He’s… out of the picture now.”

“For Gabriel? Dammit, I knew you were going to take him back.”

“I’m not! I just want my boys to come out of their childhoods not needing twenty years of therapy. And a second ago you were yelling at me for dating someone other than Gabe!”

“That’s not what I said!”

Cat was still standing in the doorway. The breeze from the window blew in at that moment and brushed her hair across her mouth. In the pause she gained while Cat extricated it, Thea went to the French doors.

“I have to go ream out my son,” she said with cold dignity. “Then I’m going home. When you decide to stop flaying me for decisions I made years and years ago, call me.”

“Wait a minute! We’re not done!” But only Cat’s words followed her out into the yard. Thea was banking on Cat not coming out after her, on understanding that she had to talk to Jake alone.

Jake was walking down the tree-covered hill behind the house, toward the stream and the path that ran alongside it. “Jake!” she called. He sped up. “Dammit! Wait for me!” He didn’t. “Jacob Donaghy, right this second, stand still!”

Somehow, that worked.Huh. Looks like I found my teacher voice.He stopped, a black spiky shadow among the brown and green of the woods. Thea caught up, her thin ballet flats sliding a little on the path’s debris.

He was taller than her, standing on a small ridge, but as she got closer, she found her anger ebbing away. Wasn’t understanding your kid one of the worst things about motherhood? She had to stop him from acting out, but her heart bled inside that he needed to.

“Jacob,” she began, reaching out for his black-clad arm.

“I want to change my name,” he said.

Surprised by the change in subject, she withdrew her hand. “What?”

“I’m not a Donaghy.” His lower jaw stuck out as he nodded toward the house above them. “I’m a Fielding.”

And her skinny, tough fifteen-year-old burst into tears.

They sat there in the leaves and rotten logs, and Thea held Jake to her as he cried and told her what had happened in Sean’s office. Thea couldn’t believe it—the physicality of it. Gabe might have been poison, but he’d never been violent.

“He was scary,” he whispered.

“But he’d never hurt you,” she said.

“I don’t know anymore,” he said. “He lost it, Mom. Totally lost his shit.”

She didn’t bother to reprimand him. “I’m sorry, baby.”

He leaned away so he could mop his cheeks. They were far enough from the house that he didn’t fear being overseen by his cousins.

She would no longer use the excuse that the boys needed time to rebuild their relationship with Gabe. Benji might still be able to spend time with him, but never again would she ask Jake to. He was fifteen and he already knew what was better for her than she did.

“You can change your name, honey,” she said, “if it’s important to you. But don’t rub it in your dad’s face. However much he’s capable of it, he does love you.”

Jake turned his face away. His cell phone beeped. He read it and said, “Can I go out tonight?”

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