Page 87 of Hold

“I thought you were going to hang out with your cousins.”

“Mmm. Nah.”

Whatever had come through on the text was more interesting than the video game, apparently.

“Listen, Jake,” she began. “I don’t like you hanging out with Zachary Benedetto and his crew.”

“It’s fine, Mom,” he said at once, which meant it wasn’t.

“What do you see in him, anyway? You’re not a follower.”

He looked insulted, as well he might. “I’m not ‘following’ him. We just… hang out. He’s funny.”

His face didn’t look entirely untroubled, though. “Does he drink?”

“No.”

“Drugs?”

A pause. “No.”

“Jacob.”

“Mom. I’m not an idiot.” The ceasefire was over. He pulled away from her completely. Thea let her arms fall to her sides, mourning the loss of him.

“I know that, Jake, but sometimes, with the best will in the world, you can end up in situations you can’t control.”

“I won’t.”

“But you might.”

“I won’t, Mom. Can I go?”

Ah, the certainty of the teenager. Well, she was glad to see a little fire in his eyes, after the mess Gabe’s outburst had left him in. “Yes, you can go.” He leaped up. “Say goodbye to everyone first!” she called after him.

Thea got up more slowly and worked her way back through the trees. The back of Cat and Antonio’s house was as familiar to her as her own hand. Thea’s bedroom window that Sam would throw stones at late at night when she’d snuck out. The low roof over the sunroom that she could climb on when Thea let her in. The sun-faded green of the shingles, the wisteria that grew over the kitchen window every year. Cat hated it; Thea loved it. Staring at it, she began to feel a peace she hadn’t experienced in years. Despite Gabe’s return, despite Jake’s pain and Benji’s excitement and Cat’s judgment and Sam’s absence, Thea felt at peace. And it was because for the second time in a year, she knew exactly what she wanted.

She didn’t have to cling to the memories of Gabe anymore; she could separate the gratitude she felt for his saving her from her anger at his defection. She could be genuinely thankful for their children, for what he had done for her, while not letting him get off scot-free for the things he hadn’t. For the first time, she wasn’t in love with him anymore.

And she was with Liam. Wholeheartedly, whole-body, screamingly in love with him.

She should find him and tell him. Hold on to him until he believed her. He might be home. She could go. Ask Cat to watch Benji, who probably wouldn’t even notice, and just go.

But no. She needed to find the words. The words that had eluded her all week while Gabe tied her brain and her tongue in knots. She needed to sit quietly and figure out how to make her case. Like a lesson plan. To start with the basic theory and build on it, to make him see the future the way she wanted to, a future with her and the boys, negotiating each other’s wants and needs, finding a center path they could share together.

And sex. She wanted a whole lot more sex with him.

Her thoughts drifted away from the esoteric and into the elemental. Yeah. She’d figure it out. And this time, she wasn’t going to wait until the man figured out that he needed her.

Chapter 25

Liam sat in his favorite chair in front of his bay window, his head back so he could watch the stars come out, and tried to find the words to tell Thea she couldn’t let Gabe back into her life.

He was pretty sure she wasn’t going to. Pretty sure. The Thea he knew would never let someone treat her the way Gabe had. But then he thought of the divorce papers, not sent, and the two boys she and Gabe shared. And there were those five seconds, which felt like years, when he’d watched her fit so well into the man’s arms. And that kiss, or whatever had happened through her car window.

He was really getting a taste for feeling sorry for himself. The sky was full dark and his beer was long empty before he reminded himself that he wasn’t supposed to be dwelling on that night. She’d told him nothing had happened. Was he going to dismiss the weeks he’d gotten to know her for a few seconds that he might not have understood, just because his feelings had been poked?

Poked? Run over with a big truck. With spikes on the tires.

---