Page 76 of Hold

Yep. Not a conversation she wanted to have. “I haven’t forgotten about him because”—because he saved my life—“because he’s your father.”

“You swore,” Jake growled. “You swore you’re not taking him back.”

“I’m not, Jake.” The grill was getting hot to stand near. She straightened and put her arm around his shoulders. They were getting higher than hers every day. “But the only thing you have to concern yourself with isyourrelationship with him.”

“I don’t want a relationship with him!” Jake yelled, jumping away from her. “Why does everyone keep telling me to make nice? I don’t want him! He’s an asshole!”

Thea tried really, really hard to get the wordsNo, he isn’tout of her mouth. She failed.

“I’m not hungry,” Jake said, pushing past her. “I’m going out.”

“Where?” She hated that look. It was the one he’d had at the beginning of the summer. The one that said he didn’t give a damn about anything, least of all himself.

“Into town.”

“Jake, honey, not tonight.” But he’d already slammed the screen door, and she heard him running up the stairs. Someday, she was going to have to have the conversation with him about what he and Zachary Benedetto’s gang did every night. Funny how that discussion seemed easy compared to the one they’d just had.

Jake slammed out of the front door, and Benji came looking for her. That was when she realized she’d folded into a lawn chair and was staring into space, trying to find an answer to too many questions. Motherhood was hard, but this? She was never going to unravel this.

Chapter 22

“Ah, pet. I’m glad you called.”

“I’m not. I hear you saw Jake today. And told him things you had no business telling him.”

She was in the living room, the windows closed against the balmy summer evening, a full glass of wine in front of her for courage. Benji was in bed, and Jake hadn’t come back yet. She’d closed the windows so her voice wouldn’t drift up to Benji’s bedroom, which was open to the breeze. Even so, she tried to keep her voice down.

“It is my business, darlin’.” His voice was different. It had taken on the sound she’d heard the night before—had it only been last night? She felt like she’d been awake for a week—a cold tone that bit into her. It was almost threatening. “Was it not my name on those papers you sent me?”

“Yes, of course it was. But Jake doesn’t need to know—”

“That you’ve been lying about divorcing me? ’Cause you may as well give it up now, pet. We’re not getting divorced and you know it.”

Her hand tightened around the wineglass. “Is that the only reason you came back? Because those papers told you that you couldn’t have your toy anymore?” Thea pulled her hair behind her head and tugged on it. “You expected me to be waiting here for you whenever you deigned to come back?”

“I already said sorry for all of that. I’ve changed; I told you.”

“So have I, thank God.”

“If you had, you’d have sent me those papers ages ago.” She hated the certainty in his voice. He’d always been like this, and she’d been too embarrassed to admit to anyone that she’d bought into it.

“You know you belong with me,” Gabe’s voice trickled into her ear. It had taken her years to stop listening to that voice in her head, and now here it was on the other end of a line.

She firmed up her own voice.You fought for yourself and the boys.Don’t let him take it away again. “Listen, Gabe. You and I are not getting back together. What you have to focus on is rebuilding your relationship with the boys.”

“Ah, I’m not worried about that. We have a great relationship already, so we do.”

“So we don’t, Gabe, and if you’re going to keep living in fairyland, you might as well go back to Ireland right now.”

“Sure I’ll go back to Ireland. If you’ll come with me.”

She closed her eyes and reached for strength. “Didn’t you tell me you have a job here now? A steady job? One that, for the first time, you’re not going to fuck up?”

“I was just sayin’.”

“Well, ‘just say’ that you’re going to be a permanent part of the boys’ lives from now on.”

“That’s all I want. And you, of course.”

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