Page 75 of Hold

“Don’t call me kid. I’m eleven months older than you.”

“Yeah, and you look it.” Thea had to smile at the old joke. “Just kidding.”

“It’s true, though.”

“Only ’cause you don’t take care of yourself. The next time that dickhead tries to get near you, just think, ‘What would Sam do?’ In fact, I’ll send you a bumper sticker. And remind yourself of what is out there by finding your Liam and pounding him some more.”

“Jeez, Sam.”

“See, this is what happens when you marry the first man you ever have sex with. Unbutton a little, T. You’ll be amazed what happens. I love you, you dried-up old spinster.”

“Love you too.” She couldn’t call Sam any names Sam hadn’t already called herself. Especially since Sam was the spinster here. “Try not to sleep your way through all of Albuquerque before Christmas.”

“No, not me. I’ve been seeing the same guy for three months. Well, on and off.”

“Yeah, I guess you do have to get off him sometimes.”

Sam cracked up, a deep laugh that warmed Thea. She had always thought of herself as boring compared to the dynamic Sam, and it was a treat to make her laugh. “That’s the spirit. I gotta go. Bye, T.”

“Bye, Sam.” She didn’t want Sam to hang up. Thea always felt that more was possible when she spoke to her sister. Without her unrelenting support and optimism, Thea remembered that she had boundaries, expectations, limits.

♦

Thea got back to Jake and Benji, but decidedly no Liam. She’d expected it, of course, but the knowledge of his absence, even before she opened the door, still hurt.

Lifting her chin, hoping that she could cling to a small thread of normalcy in front of the boys, Thea swept into the house, juggling two bags of groceries. “Hi, boys,” she said. “Come put the groceries away.”

The two boys, uncharacteristically playing a video game together, rolled their eyes and paused the game. In the kitchen, they got into their usual roles: Benji putting away chips and juice boxes, Jake taking the eggs and laundry detergent. Thea went out back to turn on the grill for hot dogs.

She was surprised when Jake followed her. “Mom.”

“Oh God. What?” Her hand flew to her chest. She hated that tone.

“I saw Dad today.”

“Oh.” She kept her hand at her chest, scant protection for whatever he was going to say.

Jake didn’t look as though there had been a touching reconciliation. His spiky hair seemed a little limp, trying its best but not really having the heart.

“He said…” Jake began. “He said you guys are still married. Is that true?”

“Oh, Jake.” She was going to have to shut up with theohs. But she did not want to have this conversation with him. “It’s just a technicality, hon. I filed—”

“He said it to Liam.”

Jake’s voice was dead and flat, but he knew the significance of what he said. She couldn’t unpack that right away, so she said, “How? When did he see Liam? How did he know where you were working?”

“We went to Sean’s warehouse.”

“Cousin Sean?” Jake nodded. “Crap. Did Liam know your dad and Sean were cousins?”

“No.”

“And your dad is working there?” Again, Jake nodded. “Well, I guess at least we know he’s not lying about that.” Thea leaned back gingerly against the warming grill. She wanted so badly to ask what Liam had said, but she couldn’t. Jake’s face told her how the conversation had gone.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she said again. She was going to be saying that until she was saying it front of his therapist in twenty years.

Jake’s face tightened. “Don’t be sorry. Be divorced. He said you haven’t been able to forget about him. That’s why you’re not divorced.”

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