Page 40 of Hold

On Tuesday, Jake had been a minute late downstairs. Liam had used the time to his advantage, kissing Thea so hard she had to escape into the living room to fix her lipstick when they heard Jake’s footsteps. It had been a risk, and hell, she wanted him to risk it againso bad.

On Wednesday, Jake was on time. Liam followed him out of the front door, having only time to run his hand down Thea’s back, caressing her spine and, yeah, copping a quick feel of her butt before they were gone. Thea spent so much time recovering from that, she woke Benji up late and they had to race to the bus for camp.

On Thursday, she found herself silently willing Jake to be late again. And thank the sweet gods of lust, he was. This time Thea backed Liam into the refrigerator, knocking off three magnets and a self-portrait of Benji while she grabbed Liam’s hair in both hands and pulled him down to her mouth.

They barely spoke, spent only seconds with each other, and didn’t text or call each other all week. She wanted to, because there was no study group that week and she was disappointed not to have a full evening to ogle him. But what could she say?Please come ten minutes early tomorrow so I can start something we won’t be able to finish?

So those eight minutes were a precious memory she kept to herself. More than any other time in their fledgling relationship, Thea clung to those stolen moments, and the softening of his eyes when he looked at her.

Now it was July Fourth, and she would not see Liam. She tried to relish her lie-in and enjoy not waking the boys up until almost lunchtime. She tried not to think about how much more fun this lie-in would be if Liam were there.

After a leisurely bath and a quiet cup of coffee on the front porch, she made spinach salad and spinach dip and thought about Liam. Then she got the boys up, fed them, and thought about Liam. Sam called for their pre-family-ordeal conversation, during which Thea did not bring up Liam, but she thought about him. Then she drove with the boys to Kane’s house. And thought about Liam.

Perhaps it was just that Liam was the first man she’d had any interest in, apart from Gabe, in fifteen years. Perhaps this was the first extended time she’d spent with a man apart from Gabe. Perhaps she was finally seeing the end of her years-long mission to become a teacher, and she had some small leisure to look around her. These were all reasons she was mooning over Liam so much.

Also, could be that ass in those jeans.

Kane’s house was a colonial on Chestnut Hill, with enough bedrooms that Thea kept losing count, enough bathrooms that they talked about them by color, a giant conservatory where Ellen grew lemons, and a pool in the backyard big enough for their whole family and several friends.

Thea understood that, as president of Fielding Paper, Kane needed a place where he could entertain clients and staff, and that the extra bedrooms helped when Ellen’s family came to visit from England. But after her own tiny house, she was always a little dazed when she followed the boys into the pristine backyard.

Her family was just where she expected them: Kane and his best friend, Carl, were arguing at the grill. Antonio, Cat’s husband, was in the pool with his sons and Cat, who was in the shallow end, holding Kane’s baby daughter and watching his four-year-old swim in floaties. Ellen’s best friend, Penny, who was married to Carl, was sitting in a lounge chair, her toddler children in a fenced-off area of grass next to her while she nursed a baby.

Even half-covered with a towel, Penny looked exquisite, the sun shining off her platinum blond curls, a fifties-style bikini and mules, for crying out loud, completing the look. Cat was wet and bedraggled and hefting a twenty-pound baby and yet looked like she’d just stepped out of a photo shoot. Kane was the Greek god over there at the grill, the gray that two daughters had put in his hair detracting not even a little bit from his chiseled cheekbones. Carl was dark-skinned and stocky, with big brown eyes and broad shoulders. Antonio was smaller than all of them, but he had those beautiful Italian black curls and a smile that welcomed the world.

Thank God Sam’s not here, Thea thought, though she didn’t mean it.My ego couldn’t take another one of the beautiful people.

Right on cue, Ellen and Megan, Thea’s youngest sister, came out of the kitchen onto the patio, carrying a plate of shish kebabs and corn on the cob. Thea sighed, straightened her old cover-up, and went over to them.

Megan squealed and dropped the plate of corn on the nearest surface before pulling Thea, spinach dip and all, into a hug. “So good to see you!” she said. “You look great!”

“You are so going to heaven,” Thea said, patting her cheek. She planned on spending the afternoon in the pool, so she’d worn no makeup and her hair was back in her usual ponytail. Her swimsuit was just a boring black one-piece, but it fit, and the cover-up was a turquoise she’d always loved, so if she could just stop comparing herself to her perfect siblings and their spouses, she would be feeling quite pleased with herself today.

And Liam kissed you a whole bunch.You’ve got that going for you.

“Phew! You look hot,” Ellen said, hugging her. “Scorcher of a day, isn’t it? Is that my spinach dip?” She handed Kane the kebabs and grabbed the container. “I don’t know how I lived before your spinach dip.” She sighed, fluttering her eyelashes. Ellen had no makeup on either, but unlike Thea, her skin was flawless and glowed with health. Thea had office-lights-pale skin.

Jake and Benji had already dumped their towels and cannonballed their cousins in the deep end of the pool. The noise level doubled. Peppy summer music came out of the speakers on the patio, and jugs of iced tea and Pimm’s cup were sitting in ice. Ellen had been a party planner before she stayed home with the kids, and it showed.

“Pimms?” she asked Thea, already pouring her a drink while Kane and Carl waved their tongs at her from the grill.

“Of course,” Thea said. “You’ve trained me well.” Then she turned to Megan and added in a stage whisper, “Then get me a Corona, two limes, for the love of Pete.”

Thea followed them into the cool kitchen, which was huge but welcoming with its cream cabinets and soft beige countertops. It was a lot to take in, but Thea didn’t begrudge Kane one inch of its custom tilework. He’d worked hard for it; without him, she wouldn’t have a house, so he could do whatever he liked with his.

Also, she knew that Ellen had actually reined him in on some of his ideas for the house. “You know how many fridges he was planning?” she’d once complained. “Five! And not just a couple of little wine fridges under the counter, oh no. One on each floor, one in the garage, and one on the patio.” They’d compromised on three, and although Thea still couldn’t figure out what they did with them all, there was no denying that the Fieldings were never out of ice.

Thea put her drink down and found a bowl for her salad, and they settled into the comfortable routine they’d fallen into over the years. When everyone was called to the long farmhouse table on the patio, sheltered by a trellis and grapevine that Kane said he regretted planting because it dropped leaves and overripe grapes into everything, Thea sat back for a moment and closed her eyes. It wasn’t a bad life, all in all.

She opened them again. Wow. What a difference a year made. This time last year, Gabe had been gone only ten months and she still alternately railed at the thought of him and missed him with all the hurt of a rejected nineteen-year-old.

Things were different now. She looked at Kane and Ellen, teasing each other about how well-cooked the burgers were, and at Cat and Antonio, who’d been married since the Flood. Carl and Penny looked pooped but content, as they had ever since their son had been born. Thea had grown up knowing Carl, but she’d never seen him the way he was with Penny and his baby. He was so happy it was indecent to look at.

What was different this year was that for the first time, Thea wondered if she might be able to find that kind of contentment with… someone. She wasn’t going to say Liam, because he was new and scary and, God help her, young. She was afraid to ask how young. But maybe, one day, she might find herself ready to trust someone again. Maybe there were good guys out there.

And maybe those good guys had beards that could give her rugburn in all the right places if she let him.

“What are you smiling about?” Cat asked, ever alert to her family’s moods.

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