Page 6 of Memories of the Past

Aunt Vi sat with me for almost an hour, while I continued to cry. She did her best to comfort me, even brought me a cup of warm milk before she went off to bed. Only I couldn’t sleep. I lay in bed, staring up at the moon through my window. I’d calmed down and was now quiet. The tears had stopped flowing, and I’d calmed down considerably, yet the hurt and anger still lingered. I let out a breath and rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. The more I thought about what he had said, about the fact that he didn’t care that I could leave with him right now, the angrier I got, and once again the tears fell, only this time they didn’t stop until I’d cried myself to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, I woke. My eyes burned and my chest hurt, and I just wanted to lay in bed, but Aunt Vi forced me up and out of bed. She forced me to eat breakfast, and once she had gone down to open the store, I quietly called Thomas, only to be told that he wasn’t home, which started the tears all over again. Had he really gone? His mother didn’t sound upset on the phone, so I figured perhaps he was just out working with his father. Only he wasn’t. A few hours later his mother had come into the store, and I overheard her speaking with Aunt Vi. She was crying as she spoke, Thomas had joined Jed.

Tears fell for weeks, and then one October morning it was as if someone lifted all the hurt and anger off me and a sense of peace fell over me. I made my way into the small bookstore with a bag of groceries and almost ran into Aunt Vi coming out of the small washroom.

“Oh, Pet, you scared me. You doing okay?” she asked.

“You know what, Aunt Vi?”

“What, dear?”

“You’re right. I will be okay,” I whispered. I would be okay because in those moments that I’d laid in bed at night, crying and thinking, I’d accepted the fact that Thomas was moving on, and I knew that was what I had to do as well. If he had truly cared about what I’d thought, he wouldn’t have left. I sniffled and looked over at her. “I’m a tough cookie.”

“I agree, you are. I didn’t raise you to be anything but.”

It was that exact moment that I decided I would never let another man ever make me feel this way again. That winter, I did what I could to put Thomas out of my mind. It took longer than I expected, and some days, especially at Christmas, were way harder than others. Once people found out Thomas was gone, the girls I’d gone to school with tried hard to set me up with other boys, but I was focused only on the future, learning everything I could about our small bookstore business. In February, I started taking small business classes at a small college just outside of Willow Valley. What my future would bring, I didn’t know, but as each day passed, I became more and more excited for it, and by the following fall, Thomas was barely even a thought.

CHAPTER 3

Thomas

August 2022

I lay in the dirt, looking up at a fuzzy, cloudy sky, and blinked hard while trying to catch my breath. The world was completely out of focus, and the harder I tried to bring it back into focus, the dizzier I became. I rubbed my eyes, blinked hard, and then felt two hands grab my arms, and before I knew what had happened, I was up on my feet. I closed my eyes and opened them. the damn bull that had bucked me off. I could see the outline of him, and I blinked again, this time bringing him into sight.

“Come on, Thomas, you need to see the doc,” I heard a familiar voice say. It took me a minute to realize it was Aaron.

“I’m fine, Aaron,” I mumbled as I stumbled forward.

“The hell you are. That’s the fifth time this month you’ve been thrown, the fourth you’ve hit your head. you can’t take any more risks.”

“I said I’m fine.” I pulled myself out of Aaron’s hold only to fall forward. I was about to brace myself when I felt Aaron grab hold of me.

“Don’t tell me you’re fine when I know damn well you’re not. You can’t even stand on your own two feet. Now, we are going to see the doc,” Aaron said, directing me toward the gate.

“Fuck, Aaron, I can do it. just let me try once more. Let me get on him once more.”

Only Aaron didn’t listen. he didn’t let me go and try to get back on the bull. Instead, he took me to his truck, got me in the front seat, and then tore off into town to the small hospital.

Five hours later, I sat in the exam room, waiting for the doctor to come back. I’d had a bunch of tests, a couple of scans, and now I sat on the chair waiting for the results. My head ached, so I reached up and turned the lights off, my pounding head instantly calming to a more manageable level. I’d leaned back against the chair and closed my eyes just as the door to the exam room opened.

“Well, doc? What’s the news?” I asked. I needed answers. I needed to get back out there onto that bull.

“Thomas, did you turn off the lights?” he asked, frowning at me and looking at me with concern. “I swear I left them on when I left you in here”

“Yeah, my head’s been pounding something fierce. It just helps take the edge off.”

“I see. Well then, I won’t turn them back on.” Instead, he turned his small desk lamp on and sat down behind his desk, clasping his hands in front of him, and looked at me. The look on his face already told me the news wasn’t good.

“What is it?” I questioned, not sure I was ready to hear the worst.

“How often are you getting these headaches?”

“Oh, I dunno,” I lied. “I barely keep track.” There wasn’t a time in the past few weeks that I remembered not having a headache. I’d gone through all of the medication he’d prescribed for them too.

“Would you say it’s more often than before?”

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