Page 12 of Memories of the Past

“Good choice. Those are very popular. When do you need them for?”

“Monday. They need to go to the funeral home over on…”

“Oh, I know where it is, no worries. They will be there.”

I watched as she rang up the order and passed me the debit machine. I slid my credit card into the machine and waited for the approval message.

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” she asked.

I cleared my throat, my curiosity getting the best of me. “Do you happen to know if Bluebird Books is still around? It used to be run by Vi….”

The lady, whom I assumed was Peggy, looked back at me and smiled. “Why yes, it is. I believe they are still open too. They close at seven on Friday’s, I believe,” she said, glancing at her watch. “You’ve got time.”

“Great, thank you.” I reached for a small bouquet of carnations from a bin. “I’ll take these as well,” I said, pulling a twenty from my wallet.

I left the flower shop and hopped into my truck, placing the flowers on the seat beside me. I drove down Bluebird Street, finally seeing the front of Bluebird Books coming into sight. It looked exactly as I remembered, but upon closer inspection, I noticed it, too, needed some repair. Vi, if she still owned it, would be getting up there in age, and my stomach tingled at the thought that Trinity may still be here. I had no idea what had prompted me to drive down here because I figured if Trinity was still here, she would be married by now with a couple of kids, and that was something I didn’t need to know. It was like I wanted to torture myself for the choices I’d made.

I pulled up to the curb and watched as a couple of young kids came out of the front door, taking off in the opposite direction. My mind instantly went to thoughts of what our children would have been like had we married. I shook my head and the thought disappeared almost as fast as it had appeared.

What if Trinity was working here? There was no way I could just drop in and face her. I tried to see inside the shop, but I was too far away, so I just sat there staring up at the place. After a few minutes, I decided to just head back to the ranch and put the truck into drive, but something stopped me, and instead of pulling away, I put the truck in park and cut the engine.

I got out of the truck, grabbed the flowers I’d gotten for Vi, and slowly approached the store, glancing in through the window. I couldn’t see anyone, so I took a deep breath and opened the door, walking into the small store. In that moment, it was as if I had been transported back through time and I was suddenly eighteen again. The store still smelled the same: books and gardenias. I glanced at the wall on my left and took in some of the titles on the shelves. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw some pictures. I walked over and looked at them. Instantly, I recognized Vi standing out front with a young Trinity and I smiled to myself.

“Be right out,” I heard a voice call from the back.

My stomach flipped at the sound of the voice. My mind had to be playing tricks on me. There was no way that could really be Trinity. I turned to look at the books on the shelf to my right and picked one up, flipping through the pages.

“Sorry about that. What can I help you with?” I heard behind me.

I turned in the direction of a voice I’d recognize anywhere, holding out the flowers as the smile fell from my lips. Trinity stood before me. She was older, looked more tired than I’d ever seen her look, but she was still as beautiful as she was all those years ago. Only this time there was no smile. Instead, a look of shock and surprise was on her face. She stared back at me, lost for words.

We stood there for a moment, looking at one another, neither of us saying anything. My eyes floated from her golden hair to her pale-blue eyes, down the curves of her body and back to her eyes.

“Thomas?” she questioned. “Is it really you?”

“Yeah, Trin, it’s me. These are for you. It’s been a long time. How are you?”

Instead of taking the flowers from me and answering my question, she turned her back on me and began removing books from the box that sat on the counter in front of her. It wasn’t exactly the warm welcome I’d imagined or hoped that I would get. Was it possible she was still angry after all these years? There was no way she could hold a grudge that long. I placed the flowers down on the worn counter and picked up a book from a box on the table that was in front of me, flipping it in my hand. “So, after all these years, you aren’t going to say anything to me?” I questioned, and cleared my throat, placing the book back in the box and grabbing another one with a beautiful leather cover.

“Thomas, I don’t know what you want, but I really don’t have anything to say to you.”

“I came in for a book. I needed something to read,” I answered.

“With flowers?”

“Yes.”

“Then just pick something.” She turned and glared at me, then glanced down to the flowers on the counter.

“Trinity, please…a lot of time has passed. I think-”

She stopped what she was doing and turned toward me, her hands on the counter in front of her. “Yes, a lot of time has passed. Still, I have nothing to say to you, Thomas. If you came in here to buy a book, just take one—any one. There will be no charge. Just take it and go, please.” There was a slight tremor in her voice, and as I looked closer at her, I could see her eyes were lined with pain.

I frowned and looked down to the book in my hand. Trinity hadn’t changed. It was just like her to kick someone out, followed with a please. “I guess I will take this one,” I said, holding up the leather-bound book in my hand.

“Just take whatever one you want. Take two, three, the whole box, I don’t care,” she bit out, turning away from me.

I looked after her, then turned and made my way to the door, my head hung low. I turned one more time before I exited. She still stood with her back to me, not moving. I didn’t want to press the issue any further than I already had. I left the flowers on the counter and opened the door, allowing it to fall closed behind me, and I went over to my truck and climbed in and started the engine.

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