Page 40 of Save Us

“Hello?”

“I hear congratulations are in order,” Kevin sneers over the phone then laughs. “Oh, and condolences.”

“Leave me alone,” I whisper harshly into the phone. “Leave. Me. Alone.”

“No, Kitty Cat. I won’t be leaving you alone. I’ll always be there, watching, waiting, until I can get my hands wrapped around your throat and squeeze until the lights go out. I’ll be there, Kitty Cat,” Kevin taunts me, twisting the knife deeper into my heart with every use of that special nickname.

“Leave me alone,” I repeat, just wanting this all to end. “WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU?”

“You did everything to me! You’ll fucking pay for destroying my life!” Kevin screams into the phone, the sound feral and unhinged. “How does it feel to lose that big, nosy fucking brute of yours? You couldn’t save him, just like you couldn’t save Declan. You’re fucking useless. Everyone you know and love dies on you because you’re too fucking pathetic to do anything about it.”

Rhys tries to take the phone from my hands, but I tear it away, and jump out of bed despite the pain and blood from birth.

“Better check brakes before you go anywhere,” Kevin flouts with a cold laugh that paralyzes me. Never has he sounded more like his father than he did with that laugh. “Brakes are so very important. Don’t you think?”

“Fuck you,” I curse at him, the harsh tone I was going for muted by the empty cavern where my heart used to be. “I’m going to kill you.”

“No, little Layna. The countdown is on untilIkillyou. Bye, Kitty Cat.”

Kevin hangs up and I toss my phone onto the bed, falling into Rhys’ waiting open arms.

“What did he do?” Rhys asks in a resigned tone. “He cut the brakes, didn’t he?”

Nodding, I break down, letting another ear-piercing scream out as I drop to the ground of the hospital room. Not only was I mad at Hudson, I’m the reason this all happened. It’s my fault he’s gone. It’s my fault Hudson Riggs is dead.

Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Alayna

HowthefuckamI supposed to live with myself when I’m the reason one of the men I love is dead? How do I deserve to live when he doesn’t get to? This is all so fucked up.

“It’s my fault he’s dead,” I sob into Rhys’ chest. “Hudson is gone because he was with me. I bring death and pain to everyone around me. I should have fucking ended it on that goddamn bridge! I should have saved everyone the hassle.”

“Oh, love, no. You didn’t kill him,” Rhys comforts me, but I don’t want his comfort. His comfort is a bandaid on a fucking decapitation. It’s useless. I know what I did and what I deserve. I’m a fucking plague on everyone around me.

Trying to pull myself out of his arms, I flail and fight against him. “You should want to be as far from me as you possibly can! If not for me, Hudson would be alive and well! I almost had you killed months ago. I am nothing but a pathetic person that hurts everyone around me.”

“Stop. Fighting. Me. He’s not dead, Alayna! He’s currently in surgery and it is touch and go, but Riggs is alive,” Rhys assures me, holding me in his lap on the floor. He talks against the top of my head, his body wrapped around me to keep me from hurting either of us. “I just got off the phone with Adam. Poppy can also confirm what I’m saying.”

Poppy steps into my blurry line of vision, her eyes puffy and red. “Oh, Alayna. Hudson is alive, I promise you. My dear, you did not do anything to create this situation. The actions of that despicable man are not your actions.”

“But they’re happening because of me,” I cry, the fight leaving my body as their words sink in. “You aren’t lying to me? He’s alive?”

“He’s alive, Lay. He’s not out of the woodwork just yet, but he is alive.” Rhys kisses the top of my head, rocking me back and forth in his arms.

Crying into Rhys’ sleeve, I fight internally with whether I should feel anxious, relief, or despair? He’s alive, but for how long. “Will I even get a chance to tell him how much I love him? He’s still not guaranteed to live. How do I get through the waiting?”

Poppy sits on the ground, across from Rhys and me. “When I lost my husband, I felt much like you do now. Whether it’s an accident, the natural course of life, or the ill will of others, death hits the people closest to the deceased much in the same way. What could I have done differently? Why did I waste time on anger when I should have spent more time telling them how much I loved them?”

Gripping Rhys, I listen intently to Poppy. Her pain is a mirror of mine, and I can’t help but grasp onto the hope that she’ll have wisdom to help me push past this feeling of doom and anguish I can’t shake.

“We all wish we did more loving and less fighting. Life isn’t all happy moments and neither are relationships. Hudson is still very much alive and you will have a chance to tell him how much you love him,” Poppy tells me, smiling through her tears. “But even if you don’t, I can tell you with complete certainty that he knows. He knows how much you love him, the words were always just a verbal reminder of that love. Through the anger, the hurt, or the fights, the love was still there between you. He knows how much you love him, how could he not when you wear your heart in your eyes? All it takes is one look at one of your men to see the pure, unequivocal love that you have for each other. I know because I had that same type of love for forty six years.”

“Poppy is right,” Rhys whispers in my ear. “We know you love us. Riggs knows you love him. It was a shitty moment before the incident, but it doesn’t erase any of the incredible moments before that. Just like his actions that sparked the argument didn’t mean he didn’t love you.”

Rolling my head back to look up at Rhys, I sigh. “It just hurts so much.”

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