“That’s great,” he said, reaching over to give her shoulder a squeeze. “You’ll be great.”
She nodded, and her smile faded. “Is everything okay?”
“It’s great,” he replied, realizing he was using the word “great” way too much. “Just wanted to tell ya’ll I’ve signed a lease on an apartment today.”
“You’re leaving?”
“It’s The Oaks, Autumn. Not going anywhere.”
She relaxed. “When do you move in?”
“It’s ready now.”
“You don’t have any furniture.”
“I am working on that,” he replied.
And that’s how, at the end of the day, he ended up with a partially-furnished apartment and a group of friends eating pizza on his floor and laughing. Apparently, if you needed something, Autumn called the cavalry, and now he had a hodge-podge of extras donated from his friends and purchased at the thrift store. He wasn’t broke, but he plopped down a large chunk of savings for the rent and utilities. And with no guarantee of electrician work if ol’ Edgar was bad mouthing him around town, being frugal right now was prudent.
“Where’s Gwen?” Autumn asked. “She never responded to my text. Have you talked to her?”
Everyone stopped speaking. Jason slumped back on the couch, staring at the slice of pizza on a plate in his lap. “I guess she’s not speaking to me right now.”
“What did you do?” Autumn asked.
“Why do you assume I did something?”
Every woman in the room laughed.
“I did nothing,” he insisted.
“Well,” Rebecca began, scrunching up her nose, “what did yousay, then?”
The room stared at him in rapt attention. He considered his options of telling them to mind their business or admitting he was still screwed up and wasn’t sure if he’d ever feel okay again. And since every single person in the room were the only people in the universe who understood the truth, he chose honesty.
“It’s more what I didn’t say,” Jason said. “With the rumors around town of what happened before I left, she asked me to tell her what happened, and I wouldn’t…couldn’t.” Their eyes settled on him, but he didn’t meet any of their gazes. “I walked out in the middle of the night, and we haven’t spoken since.”
“You should be honest with her,” Autumn said.
“She leaves me either way.”
“Not necessarily,” Hannah said.
“You didn’t on purpose, and you’d never do it again,” Autumn said, her typical refrain for this. She never blamed him, she didn’t get mad at him, she explained away everything by using his traumatic brain injury and PTSD as an excuse. He’d never let himself off the hook that easily.
“I should have never done it to begin with. It was my fault, no excuses. And no sane woman would ever take a chance on this.” He stood, crossed the room to his new galley kitchen and tossed his plate in the trash bag. Once he’d found out about his history with her, he should have walked away then. It was stupid and irresponsible to give in to his desire to pursue her.
“Dude,” Weasel had followed him, “I was there, and I think you’re making too much of it. We’ve all seen how hard you’ve worked to get right. You don’t even drink anymore, for Christ’s sake.”
Jason shrugged. “I can’t guarantee her something like that wouldn’t happen again. I’d like to tell her it’d never happen again, but I don’t even remember most of that time, still. Why take the risk?” he said, not bothering to lower his voice. Silence filled the room; he was right. It was time for a change of subject and as luck would have it, Rebecca walked into the kitchen, wearing a loose, flowy shirt. It reminded him of her pregnancy, even though she wasn’t showing at all.
“How are you feeling?” he asked as Weasel took her paper plate and deposited it into the trash.
Rebecca’s hands automatically cradled her belly and she glowed. “I’m good, still battling occasional morning sickness and tired. But everything is progressing as normal.” Weasel’s arms wrapped around his wife and she beamed up at him. He looked at her like she hung the moon and stars. Rebecca and this baby they couldn’t see yet were his universe, and a pang stabbed Jason in the heart.
“That’s good,” he got out through his tightening throat. “I’m happy for you guys.”
“Thanks,” Weasel said, but his eyes were looking at her. He kissed the top of her head, his hands resting on her abdomen.