Page 54 of A Second Chance

“I’m gonna need the truth about what happened if this relationship will progress.” Next to her, his breath hitched to halt. “You know pretty much everything about me. But keep an enormous part of your past hidden from me.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” he finally said. “You haven’t told me anything about your past relationships.”

Gwen sat. “I’m not asking about past girlfriends. And you know that. What happened? I get the sense it had to do with your injury.”

“Honey, look, I’m doing my damnedest to put it behind me and move forward. I don’t see what good rehashing it all will do.”

“So I’ll learn the truth. And I can put all of the rumors out of my head…”

“I can’t.” The mattress shifted under his weight and bounced back as he rolled out of bed.

“What are you doing?”

Jason moved across the room, gathering his clothes, that toned butt bare and on display. Only a couple of hours before she’d had her hands gripping his posterior. He jerked on a pair of boxer briefs before speaking. “I’m not ready to talk.”

Gwen nodded. “But it’s been three years.”

He shoved a leg into his jeans. “Here’s the thing…I’ve worked very hard to make it up to you, and I don’t want to dredge up the past.”

“Woah, woah, woah…” she slid from the bed and grabbed her nightshirt from the chair – she wouldn’t be the only one naked. “What do you mean make it up me?”

He stared at her, confusion etched along his face. “You know.”

A horrible thought steamrolled her head. “Our relationship?” she whispered. “Are you just with me to ‘make it up to me’?”

“No. Not at all. That’s preposterous.”

Gwen’s heart hammered in her chest. “Then what are you talking about?”

“I don’t wanna talk,” he sighed, “I want to go back to sleep, wrapped around you.” Still shirtless with his pants undone and sporting a face of stubble. He looked like sex on a stick, and it’d be easier to pull him back to bed and forget the whole thing. But the problem was, the issue would still be there in the morning light.

“What do you think you’re making up to me… our past?”

He nodded.

“I’ve already forgiven you for that. I wish you wouldn’t keep torturing yourself. And I’m aware we haven’t talked about a relationship or a future. And it’s probably not fair of me to spring this on you randomly in the middle of the night. But I need you to tell me what happened that day at some point.”

Jason shoved his shirt over his head and fastened his pants.

“You’re leaving?”

“I need some air,” he said, grabbing his shoes, and he exited the room closing the door in his wake.

***

The next day, Jason went to the only apartment complex in town, The Oaks, to tour a one-bedroom apartment that was now available for rent. It wasn’t anything special; one large room for the living area, a galley kitchen with an open pass through to the living area. A bedroom with one large closet, and a bathroom with a stacked washer and dryer unit in the corner. Plain white walls, beige linoleum in the kitchen and bath, and beige carpet everywhere else.

He walked through it, wondering what Gwen would think. But he’d slunk out of her house like a coward and hadn’t communicated with her since. His therapist would tell him he was sabotaging himself, again. And somehow, even knowing this, he wasn’t able to stop. Either way this happened, it would turn out the same. He’d lose her. She all but said she needed him to tell her in order to stay with him. But in telling her the truth, she’d send him packing, unable to trust him. The worst of it was she’d never view him the same way again. He’d turned into a monster and hurt Autumn while she was pregnant, too. And what if something happened with his brain again? The dread of accidentally hurting her tightened in his stomach.

In the apartment complex office, he signed the lease agreement and forked over two-months’ worth of rent.

Back at Ben and Brandon’s, he stuffed his clothes back into the duffel bag. He hadn’t carried many personal things with him. Most of his stuff was still at his parents’ house. He’d avoided going there most of the time and when he visited, stayed on the bottom floor. Never venturing into his old bedroom, even borrowing a bow from Weasel and buying new arrows just to avoid it. He hadn’t been in his old room since the incident happened. For the first time since he’d left for the trail hike, he considered finding a new therapist. Did White Oak even have any shrinks?

Jason found his sister, Ben, and Brandon in the Farmhouse's office. They were all staring at a dry erase board mounted to the wall, it had the grid of a calendar on it and Autumn pointed furiously with a dry erase marker.

“Hope I’m not interrupting,” he said. They all turned. Autumn came up and hugged him.

“Just going over our schedule,” she smiled. “We’re booked up through December then starting again in April through next July. And I’ve already had inquiries about September. It’s crazy.” Autumn smiled again and he caught a hint of nervous energy.

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